June 23, 2005
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February 21, 2005
guess what? I am in counseling. yep. for getting my bachelor’s in Biblical counseling, I need to have 20 hours of personal counseling, 30 hours of observation, 30 hours of Co-counseling, and then 30 hours of counseling others…or figures somewhere close to that. I am really enjoying it. Heather, the lady who is counseling me, is really wonderful and encouraging. We have been talking about ways I can reach out to others my own age. because let’s face it–I am surrounded by kids all day every day, and when I go to class I arrive, listen, and leave–especially at Ivy Tech and IUPUI. Anna has especially been adamant as she reproachfully said “you have taken classes for how many weeks and still don’t have a friend here?” Anyways, I did manage a couple of conversations, and they were pretty painless, so God is growing me in many areas:).
Tuesday–oh, it was so beautiful outside! I left my coat in the car all day and laughed at the sun. It was also a good day at the center. as I was driving to pick up Jasmine from school, I was thinking my deep thoughts (hmm. this might be dangerous. sorta like drinking and driving? j/k) and wondered “if it is true that it only takes one person to start a revival, then it must mean I am not on fire.” that was rather depressing. Lately I have been talking with people and it just seems that those around church and everywhere are…stagnant. still. not moving one way or the other…and it gets depressing because it is not anything horrible that shocks you, it is just a slow weary, draining burden that you hardly notice until life is a gray blob. And if I am living my life totally sold out, why don’t I see anything happening? I told my thoughts to Jasmine who said “well, it is spreading to me.” and my heart got the warm fuzzies and I figure that maybe revival is not always what we think it is. maybe it’s not about “moving the masses.” Maybe…God works in ways I don’t see.
I asked Jasmine that if she could change one thing in her life, what would it be–one situation, one person, something about herself–anything. She immediately answered that it would be her grades. As she said that, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind something I’d learned before…actually, I can’t even remember where. it was that the one thing that we think it the hardest, most unbearable thing in our life is usually the one thing that God is using the MOST to make us more like Him. It is the sharpest, best tool that is shaping us to be Christlike. I can totally see that in Jasmine because she is giving up her playtime to work hard on homework for often many hours a night, and it is growing her maturity. I went on to tell her that if we can then take the next step and THANK God for that one thing, then it will be true success as 1 Thess.5:18 says it is fulfilling God’s will for our life.
thinking about this now, I sure can apply it to my own life. I was walking around the park on Saturday and looked up in the sky to see a plane. suddenly, as it often does with planes, I wished to be on it, flying to Brasil. I said out loud “God, why do I have to have desires that aren’t fulfilled? Why do I have to want something I can’t have right now?” I guess that would be my one thing. Well, As God gently points out, it is those unfulfilled desires and learning to wait that is working in me now. quite possibly I am learning much more from NOT having them fulfilled as I will when they are fulfilled. That is Romans 8:28 working for ya!
Tuesday night I was taking Destany and her two friends home at 9:00pm because they live on the Southside, so it is on my way home and we don’t have time to take them home earlier. It had been a good day–but a long day, and I felt like I hit a brick wall. We were almost at their house when Destany gasps and realizes she left her stuff and keys at the center. I grumble under my breath as I turn around to go get them and all the girls sing how wonderful I am and what a nice girl I am. I say a quick prayer for my eyes to stay open and tell the girls that it is only because God is alive and working in my heart that I am willing to go out of my way and do stuff like that, so they should be thanking God, not me. As they get their stuff, Ashley, who had been lead to the Lord that night, told me how she was saved. It was good to chat about it and encourage her. Then, as we were almost at their houses, they tell me that they need me to wait while they ask their parents if they can spend the night at Destany’s house and get their clothes. ugg. I am thinking “ok God, am I being *just a little* taken advantage of here?” I am sitting in the car with Destany when she says “You need to pray for my stepmom.” and then the whole story tumbled out. apparently, her father is in jail since after Christmas, and her stepmom (I have no idea where her real mom fits in here) lost her two kids (who were really close to Destany) that are now in foster care. Destany is not allowed to see them, and has no idea how they are doing. Not only that, but her stepmom recently moved out (they had been living with Destany’s grandmother, where Destany still lives) to move in with her co-worker where they are exotic dancers. to top it off, someone graphically told Destany that her stepmom was cheating on her dad. Destany does not know what to believe. The reason that her friends were spending the night was because her grandma worked until midnight, and 12 year old Destany did not want to be alone. Okay. this was definitely worth 30 minutes of my time to talk with her. So please pray for Destany and her family.
Things are going well with the girls in general at the youth center. There is a Hispanic girl that has been coming to the center–Michelle. she is very cool, she plays basketball and is a tomboy. I get along with her great. she was not very clear about salvation when I went over it with her on Friday, so I am hoping that we can talk about it more and she can then be discipled. The Lord also worked out a way to start having a girl’s Bible study on Thursdays. We have Bible study every night, but in the past we have had one just for girls, and they really benefited from it. it had to be cut when we got lower on staff and the girls began to think it was gossip time instead of gospel time. So, please pray as we begin that again. On Friday we got to take some of the kids Duckpin bowling. I had been once when I was 16 with the kids at the inner city school, so it was neat to go back. I think Eugene did better than I did (well, I did help him a little) and we all laughed as the guys dramatically found ingenious ways to get the ball down the ally…until Tre’s ball promptly stopped in the middle of the ally and Vladimir had to go get it:).
Here is an awesome promise for you: Proverbs 10:3 “The Lord will not allow the righteous soul to famish, but He casts away the desire of the wicked.”
This is from a book I am reading on purity: “…In this area (sexual purity in thoughts) he had stopped short of authenticity. By the standards of his peers, he knew he could watch popular movies with racy situations and still “seem” Christian, while being accepted as well. That’s all he needed. So…Are you being authentic?…One youth pastor said “They seem to have great intentions…they desire to be used by God. Trouble is, they won’t step out. When I ask them, ‘Why aren’t you hungrier for God?’ I know the answer already. they don’t want to stand out. They just want to be accepted. They want more of God, but they don’t want to be more like God. To them, sexual purity seems too high a wall to climb.” Why?
“If they were authentic, they would say ‘Christ saved me, so I want to be pure.’ but most are lazy and apathetic about this. It is all emotion to them. They leave Wednesday night service pumped up and wanting to be different, but by second period Thursday morning they’ve given up. An authentic teen would say ‘I want to be free from sin,’ but most of my kids say ;it would be nice to be free from sin–if God would do it.’ They won’t pay the price…they are right about the price tag. You empty your wallet to become authentic. What’s worse, in spite of the price tag, authenticity doesn’t necessarily remove the struggle against sexual sin (thoughts)” The rest of the book is, of course, about God’s grace and how with Him all things are possible–mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual purity.
