September 17, 2005
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guess what? I have been spelling his name wrong this whole time. I am living with MARCIO and his family, not Mossio. opps. how embarrassing. he found out because I had his name spelled wrong on my prayer list next to my bed.I feel like a huge consumer. all I do is use up food, space, and toilet paper. at home I am at least working and earning money to compensate for my consummation, but here I am not allowed to get a job including money. right now my job is to learn Portuguese. bleh. so I am complaining because I go to high school, study some Portuguese, eat real good, take a nap in a hammock and watch Brasilian TV? no, definitely not:), but…sometimes it is hard to trust God that this is just as profitable and useful a time in my life as when I am super busy, working at the youth center, going to classes at three colleges, and everything else I did last semester. did I mention that I actually have a pretty good tan now too?:)One night last week the family left and I was *gasp* home alone. I convinced them that I was 23 years old and worked in the ghetto and good take care of myself…only to find myself downright scared when this strange guy came to the door. they have a wall around the house, so he was at the outside door, speaking through the speaker phone. after alittle conversation, I gathered that he was the bread guy. but then I had two new thoughts–one, I had no money to pay for the bread, and two–what if he wasn’t really the bread guy…ohh, ahh. so I told him to wait a minute and stealthily (well, I think it was) sneaked up and looked at him through the small crack in the door. well, he didn’t look like a burglar…and he did have bread…but I figured I’d just better tell him to come back later just in case.
it was rather funny after my heart stopped beating so fast. I taught English classes on Thursday, and it is now becoming clear how little I know about English (darn it, I thought it would be at least two more weeks before they found that out *giggle*). I know HOW to speak correct English, I just don’t know WHY…I mean, come on–do you know why you say “I have…” but you say “He has” instead of “He have?” but, no problem, because after I confessed to my class I had no clue, they figured it out on their own (in Portuguese, so I still don’t know why it is have/has…).oh, here is a funny note from my family…I was on the phone today when Anna tried to read me the package of something I had sent them (in Portuguese) to see what it was. it turns out they had opened the package of beans…you know, rice and beans stuff…and Dad was trying to grind them in the coffee grinder because he thought it was the coffee I had sent. I should make sure to translate and label things first next time. smile. oh, I do miss them. I am re-reading “Waking the Dead” which is also by John Eldredge who did “Wild at Heart” that I rave about all the time. God knew I need this now and about 3 chapters into the book I was getting excited with “oh my, this is exactly what my friend needs to hear right now!” about 3 chapters later I knew it was ME that needed it right now, and so I went through the whole list of things to do that I had written for my friend:). ain’t it always the way it goes? you know, the whole plank and speck thing…- Life is more than it seems
- We are at war
- We have a critical role to play
From “Lord of the Rings:” “Fate has chosen him, a fellowship will protect him, evil will hunt him.”
“Wake up, o sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on You.” Eph.5:14
To prepare for our critical role in this war, we must allow God to unveil our hearts. Our hearts are the treasure given to us and how we will fight. We need to learn to live from the new heart God gave us and not from our past ways and habits. To unlock our heart and live by it there are 4 streams:
- Discipleship—walking with God
- Counseling—receiving God’s intimate counsel
- Healing—deep restoration
- Warfare—spiritual warfare
Discipleship is asking God to speak to you, listening, and then writing down what He says and remembering it. It is letting Him guide you through the things thrown at you day in and day out. We are to be guided through the Word (wisdom) and prayer (revelation), listening to His voice. He also uses godly counsel from friends.
Counseling is going back and letting Jesus walk you through your past and all the pain and lies you believed. He will then reveal the truth (backed by Scripture). Open the wounds and let Him heal them. Remembering past issues is an invitation from God to deal with them with Him. He wants to give you His name and teach you how He sees your heart.
Healing is the deep restoration that you receive when you give God specific permission to walk through your life, pick up the pieces of your heart, and put it back together again.
Warfare is James 4:7—Submitting to God and resisting the devil. Satan is looking for you to simply agree with one of the lies he throws at you, slowly filling your life with his lies. We must exercise the authority we are given by God—this is our training time, as God created us to rule the earth. In this we must have a fellowship (a few intimate people of one mind) to fight for and with. We must also continue fighting to keep our heart, caring for it as it is the center of your relationship with God.
Walking with God (discipleship) leads to receiving His intimate counsel (counseling) about today and the past which leads to deep restoration (healing) of all of your heart and an understanding of who you are and how you are in a spiritual war (warfare) against the devil. Then you can begin the same process in others, fighting for their souls as well as your own.
Wow. I realized that I was the one that needed to sit down with God and go through my past (and present) with Him. I found…to date…about 32 different specific lies that I had believed about myself or what I should/shouldn’t do–things like I am ugly and worthless, I am inadequate and am going to fail everyone, that I can’t be trusted, that I have to do more or be more to be good enough…and so on. no wonder I was struggling with fears so much when I felt sure of God’s calling! And what is so awesome is that God wanted to show me His truth–He had something wonderful and special to share with me about each of these lies–telling me how much He loves me and how I am clean, pure, beautiful, and forgiven.
I also wrote a two page paper about all the specific ways to apply this book…but I will be nice and not put it in this e-mail for you (although I would be happy to send it to you if you write me for it:))
anyways, there is a battle, and those little “one-liners” prayer won’t do anymore.
