So tomorrow is Halloween? Well, I don’t think we celebrate it in Brasil because I haven’t heard a word about it…or maybe it is just me—which is always a viable option.

 

I told my mom that I probably shouldn’t pray about returning to Brasil while sitting in a hammock overlooking a perfect starry night with palm tree silhouettes. I don’t think it makes me impartial. But anyways, thank you for your prayers for that…I really feel a peace about moving forward with going forward with plans for returning in February. Sometimes I really get mixed up with this whole “plan yet don’t plan” business like in James 4 where it is “Lord Willing” I will do this or this, yet I still have to make strong, definite choices like buying a plane ticket. Thinking about my lovely home, family (and car) I realized that yeah, I can be very happy if God changes my plans and I always need to live with my hands wide open. But Brasil…well, Brasil is mine.

 

Movies are funny things. I watched “Batman Begins” .I would recommend for you to watch it…but if there are bad parts or cussing or whatever I am so not responsible since I watched it once in English—softly—with Portuguese subtitles (and I have not yet discovered Portuguese cuss words except for one which is more like saying “crud” so that does not really count) and then again with dubbed Portuguese and Portuguese subtitles (this is really good for my Portuguese). And I always close my eyes if I think I violent or bad scene is coming (my word Karine makes SOOO much fun of me for this habit!) Anyways, after I watched it I was so pumped to be a superhero. I was like “God, okay, lets go save the world!” of course, it was after midnight, so God’s advice was more on the lines of “Rachel, get your rear end in bed.”

 

But I realized I liked the movie so much because he had to face his fears. “Desire life like water and yet drink death like wine” (I have no idea who’s quote this is) He looked death in the face, defeated his fears, and in the process he saved like…the whole city. Oh yeah, and I love how the heroine is named “Rachel” …she even slaps like me…and says things like “…it is what you do that defines you” (which is a bit off doctrinally but it worked in the situation) and she was totally wise in knowing that Batman was so NOT ready for a relationship…cool.

 

Tuesday was an incredible time with God. Dad told me that on Tuesday he really had me on his heart…I told him that it was an incredible day for me and MAN, I hoped he had me on his heart more if that is what would happen…J 1^st and 2^nd Timothy are just stashed with practical “go do this” advice. I LOVE it. 1 Timothy 4:13 says we are to give attention to Reading (you know, all the stuff…memorizing, meditating, studying the WORD), Exhorting (the stuff having to do with other people—prayer, intercession, serving others, writing super long e-mails about all the random things I learn…), and Doctrine (this is getting to know God…it is not a dead study using dusty books, but worship, rest, satisfaction, delight in God and enjoying Him…) This pretty well defines my whole life and what supposed to do every day. Then Timothy (well, Paul wrote it…) goes on and says to use your spiritual gifts, meditate on this and CONTINUE on—and then you will have your promised reward—you will see results. Wow.

 

I think the times you can express yourself are rare. I think the times you can express yourself using the exact words that speak your heart are even rarer (ooh, that is such a hard word for Brasilians to say—rarer…). And when you do, you normally surprise yourself with what you were really thinking…and you feel such a great satisfaction with just getting the words OUT. The book I quoted last time is about finding your true, God-given desires and settling for nothing less. I rewrote mine:

 

Ø     I want to be consumed with knowing God and to being known by Him

Ø     I want to love God deeper than I have ever loved a man

Ø     I want to feel God’s pleasure upon me, knowing that He loves me and I am worth being loved, am beautiful, and am ENOUGH

Ø     I want to be useful to God and see results for His kingdom in the lives of others and myself through writing, counseling, and teaching

Ø     I want to see happy endings, changes, growth, and miracles in hopeless situations

Ø     I want to be satisfied at the feet of Christ ever day, hour, and moment

Ø     I want to serve, exhort, and change the underprivileged, the seeking, the generation behind me, Brasil, and the world

Ø       I want to be consistent and diligent in all I need to do in fighting this WAR

 

 

Tele and one of the pastor’s, Joseman, were going to be going to the US next week…but Joseman’s visa didn’t work out (I feel really bummed for him—it is a really big thing to be able to go to the US here) so Ricardo is going since he already has his visa. I was helping Ricardo write his testimony (in English) to share with the churches, and wow. His dad died when he was six, and his mom could not support them and so he and his brother went to live with his uncle and aunt. The aunt hated them and let them know it everyday…and they still really never had enough food. Finally they kicked him out on the street when he was 19. His boss offered to let him live with them…which *happened* to be the place where they began a prayer meeting and a man named Tele began a church…Ricardo was the first convert and then became a part of Tele’s family, going to Word of Life institute and with Heather, starting the youth program where most of the pastors today were saved at. Today he is the pastor at Guadalajara, working at the Lagoa de Itaenga church plant, and takes care of a bunch of other stuff, living at the seminary. Miracles seem to follow this man. And he gets to go to the US NEXT WEEK and meet my family (and hopefully speak at my church…) okay…I am only slightly jealous…turning greener by the second…anyways, please pray for this trip and for all the places where Ricardo and Tele will speak and all the people listening. God knows the connections that need to be made, and yes, while you tell me—AND I KNOW—God has all the cattle on a thousand hills…well, the cattle are looking sparse here in Brasil. There are so many needs.

 

Friday I went to Recife with Josue and family (remember, going to Recife is like when you live out in the boonies of Indiana and getting to go to the big city…) and it was so awesome. We rolled passed beauty I can never get over and I hope I never can while singing all these kid songs in Portuguese. I could pick up on them quickly…like one about Jonah and the “pexie” that “vomito: bleh” complete with actions…the girls really liked that oneJ. We stopped at the amazing “Acerolalandia” (Lindsay, remember?) that has this amazing juice that makes you close your eyes and wonder if you are still on planet earth. I felt so…loved and included and…home. This feeling is so underrated by the world…you realize how important it is only after you don’t have it…

 

We spent the weekend at the Alconce because of the mini-carnival here in Timbauba. They set up three huge stages and stands and have three groups of bands come in for three days and they rock and drink (and everything else) the nights away. So Josue worked it out for us and whoever wanted to from church to get out of the city and have a mini-camp thing. We got up early and jumped (or got pushed) in the pool and spent all Saturday playing volleyball and futebol (I am so sore) I was THIS CLOSE—this close—I tell you to scoring a goal. Somehow I normally ended up trying to guard the one guy that had on shoes and so I was fearing for my toes the whole time (yep, we play barefoot…pounding the hard dry ground for about 2 ½  hours straight) and I ended up scraping my toes—completely removing my pedicure and making me laugh. We watched “Coach Carter” (yep, in Portuguese, so don’t ask me if it is a “clean” movie or not) and everyone was asking me to translate what they were saying in the songs (since those are in English) and half the time I couldn’t (because it was rap and I never understand it even if it is supposedly English) and the other half of the time I wouldn’t (because it was rap and had horrible words)—you just can’t win, can you? We had a bonfire and I brought out some of my marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers that I have had stashed away for a rainy day. They loved their first introduction to the famous American tradition of s’mores.

 

Please pray for this city…it is 5pm now and they are starting the last night of the party…they even cut school tomorrow so everyone could recover from their hangovers.

oh man. i so knew i was black…no doubt about it…hey, they call me “white chocolate“…and i am working on the tan…

I was walking around the Alconce, listening to the wind rush through the tall white birch trees that line the futebol field, and I looked at the clouds and just said “What do you want God? I just want to know!” I felt the simple “Well, Rachel, what do you want?” well, that shocked me so much that I forgot the whole issue and could not think of one darn thing that I wanted…my mind suddenly filling up with the realizing that God cared about what I wanted. He cared enough to ask. And knowing this, I really did not care or know what I wanted—knowing He wanted to know was enough. And then I simply knew that all I wanted…in answer to this specific question and in answer to everything…was for God to be happy with me and to be where He was.

 

I finished “Desiring God” and am gonna hit you with some good stuff:

 

I love this: “A worldly lady once thought she would have alittle fun at Mr. Hyde’s expense. So she asked, “Don’t you think, Mr. Hyde, that a lady who dances can go to heaven?” He looked at her with a smile and said quietly, “I do not see how a lady can go to heaven unless she dances.” Then he dwelt on the joy of sin forgiven. “

“I do not appeal to you to screw up your courage and sacrifice for Christ. I appeal to you to renounce all you have to obtain life that satisfies your deepest longings. I appeal to you to count all things as rubbish for the surpassing value of standing in the service of the King of Kings.”

 

“Jesus “chose” suffering. He did not merely let it happen to Him—He “chose” it. Would you choose suffering for the sake of Christ? Without the hope of resurrection, one should pursue ordinary pleasures and avoid extraordinary suffering. This is the life Paul rejected at as Christian. Christianity means choosing and embracing a life of suffering for Christ that would be pitiable if Christ proved false. Christianity is not a life that one would embrace as abundant and satisfying without the hope of fellowship with Christ in the resurrection. This embracing of suffering is not just an accompaniment of our witness to Christ; it is the visible expression of it. Our sufferings make Christ’s sufferings known, so that people can see the kind of love Christ offers. We complete Christ’s afflictions by providing what they do not have, namely, a personal, vivid presentation to those who did not see Christ suffer in person. The starling implication of this is that the saving purposes of Christ among the nations and in our neighborhoods will not be accomplished unless Christians choose to suffer. At the extreme end of this suffering, the number of martyrs is not yet complete (Rev.6: 11). Without them, the final frontiers of world evangelism will not be crossed.”

 

“There’s not one door in the world closed where you want to witness for Jesus…show me a closed door and I will tell you how you can get in. I won’t however, promise you a way to get out…Jesus didn’t say, “Go if the doors are open” because they weren’t. He said “Go” because people need His Word…we need a new approach to missions—an aggressive, experimental, evangelical, no-holds-barred approach…a pioneering spirit…I’m afraid we’ll have to go through a deep valley of need and threatening situations, blood baths; but we’ll get there. God will take away what hinders us if we mean business. If we say, “Lord, at any cost…” and people should never pray that unless they truly want God to take them at their word—He will answer. Which is scary. But we have to go through the process…all I can say is to be ready.” Brother Andrew

 “I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man may be nourished…I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it.” –George Mueller

 

yep. It is official. The lizard that lives in my room (presently disappearing somewhere around my shoes, making me nervous about wearing them) is named Freddy. Wonder of wonders, Josue bought a hot water shower thingy! I gotta tell you, these cold showers were killing me. man. I didn’t complain (when you can complain in another language, you know you’re doing pretty good at speaking it) but I think they knew. Maybe from the terrorized look as I headed to the shower with my towel?

okay. i am not sure how to do this, but i was “Tagged“ so all you people who *seriously* read my blog are just going to have to deal for a moment. just kiddin.

10 years ago i was:

*13 years old

*my life consisted of doing the dishes and jumping on the trampoline

*i got my ears pierced (hey, this was an EVENT)

*contemplating why i never fit in anywhere

 

5 years ago i was:

*18 BABY!

*Just getting over a car wreck where i ran into a parked car and totalled them both

*Living with my grandparents on the farm, learning what it meant to enjoy a sunrise

*trying to figure out biology and really enjoying worm reproducion (yuck)

*Going to Ravenbrook chuch and feeling at home with all my “chocolate“ bro´s and sis´s

 

1 year ago i was:

*22 and wishing i was back in Brasil

*Going to Crossroads and Ivy Tech

*trying to figure out where Brasil fit in my future

*Workin in the ghetto and hangin with my dudes

 

Yesterday i:

*Drew a picture of a ship

*learned how to play the “Bm“chord on the guitar

*watched a lady make Tapioka with fresh quava and coconut (sorta like a hot pocket)

*watched `Whinny the Pooh“ in Portuguese

*Taught this boy (too bad i don´t know his name) how to speak English ( `pees espeake esowee`)

 

5 Snacks i enjoy:

*fresh fruit (gotta love Brasil!)

*Cool Rance Doritos (MAN I MISS THESE!)

*Pipóca doce (sweet popcorn…sorta like kettle corn)

*churros (freshly made for only 10 cents!)

*auga de coco (coconut water straight from the coconut–for about 30 cents)

 

5 Songs i know all the words to:

*Supercalifrailisticexpialidocious (or anything from Mary Popins)

*Beauty and the Beast (anything from the movie)

*Do a deer (anything from Sound of music)

*Shout to the Lord (hey, this one i have memorized in English and Portuguese!)

*Tons of praise songs and movie songs…this is a bad question for me since i always think i know all the words, and if i don´t, i make them up and *almost* no one notices

 

5 Things i would do with a 100 million dollars

*buy a plane and pilot and be able to fly anyone from here to Brasil at anytime (so i would also spend alot of money paying the government off for visas…)

*Start the rest of the 200 churches here in Brasil and make sure all the pastors had laptops and all the other programs were set up

*Have my own christian music and bookstore so i could give “that perfect gift“ to anyone at anytime

*build a pool, indoor gym and the works and have tons of workers paid to work at the youth center–with programs for the parents and their own church!!!!

*stick it in the bank until everyone forgot i had it and then pull it out for a rainy day

 

5 places i would run away to:

*4209 Otterbein:)

*the beach

*the Amazon rainforest

*Paris–or Michigan

*San Diego

 

5 things i would never wear:

*never say never!

*scratchy material stuff. yuck

*mini skirts

*stuff held up with elasic–that is just dangerous

*something strapless

 

5 favorite TV shows:

*well…i have not really had a TV for along time…

*Gilligans´s Island

*Punky Bruster (this was my fav when i was little)

*Early Edition

*Full house/Family matters

 

5 Bad habits:

*talking too much

*worrying too much

*cleaning my teeth at the table

*cracking my knuckles

*smiling and nodding when i have no clue what is going on

 

5 Biggest Joys:

*Knowing God loves me and is pleased with me

*Watching God do a miracle in someone´s life

*Seeing results after alot of hard work

*Getting caught up with how my family is doing/knowing they are fine

*Music or Nature that speaks to my heart

 

5 Fictional characters i would date:

*the Ben Afflec character on “Pearl Harbor“

*the main guy in “Les Miserables“

*Lancelot in “First Knight“

*William Wallace

*the main guy on “Princess Bride“

 

5 People i tag:

*Anna, who does not have a weblog but needs to get one

*my Mom, because i really want to know:)

*Dani (did you already do this?)

*Rachel Jones (did you already do this?)

*stink man, i cannot remember who did this already and who didn´t…so…whoever has not done it yet and happens to read this…YOU!:)

 

yeah, there were ALOT of kids there. alot of them were from the living stones program that reaches out to the poorest in the cities.

This is where a bunch of us sat around and sang songs. oh heaven. from L to R is Mr.?, Lenusion, Esras, another Mr?, and Isana (who has one of the best voices in the world–right next to my friend Deandra)

it was so fun to sit and watch all these kids enjoy themselves (even if they did turn the pool black) and it was amazing what having a camera does to draw people…stronger than magnets.

 

this is Pastor Anselmo´s son. cuteness.

this was their version of a pinata…a pot and a kid with a scary stick, so dizzy you knew someone was gonna die:). yeah,it was pretty fun. and you should have seen the dogpile when they finally did break it!

my church in Timbauba and their victorious soccor team!

 

My gosh it is like the middle of the month already. There is a guy singing outside my window—very off key. It is pretty scary. All the houses here are like attached. So I hear the neighbors fighting in the morning and singing off key at various times. And I have concluded that the very gross and unfriendly smell that walfs (what is that word again? Waifes? Waifs?) into my room at random times is not from my lovely family—that—smells—nice, but rather from the off-tune neighbors. I wonder how you say “air freshener” in Portuguese?

 

Anyways, it was the best of times, and the worst of times. Wednesday I went to the celebration of unity for the community churches. My word. One of the best days of my life. Then I got sick. Yuck. But anyways…it turns out Children’s day was officially on Wednesday, and on every children’s day all of the community churches get together at the Alconce for a day of unity, fellowship, eating…oh yeah, and futebol. I felt like I was on cloud nine. The church in Timbauba took a bus there to all go together, and boy was this a bus…everything passed us on the road, including the other buses! But it was fun and one of those bonding things…at the beginning of the trip I was sitting in the middle of the bus…by the end I was in the back, surrounded by all the kids, showing off my magic card tricks (yep, I know TWO) and taking silly pictures. Oh, I love life. We stepped off the bus to see tons of people (there was at least 300 people—over half of them being kids) that I knew from all the churches. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if it was real. To me, it was not just a party…it was a symbol. Here I could go anywhere…I would wander from the pool to the front, to the volleyball court to the futebol field…and it would be filled with laughing people—people who were my family in Christ—people who were there because God had done something special in their life through this ministry—THIS ministry that I was involved in—this ministry that I giving my life for. That God has called me to.

 

Bleh. I gotta stop writing for awhile because I had to take out my contacts and I don’t have my case or my glasses…so my contacts are in a cup while I PRAY I don’t forget and drink them and I cannot see worth beans. And the guy is still singing off key. And closing the window does nothing…in Brasil, everything is made to be open…for better or for worse.

 

They had a children’s program with puppets and skits, and then almost all the kids jumped right into the pool. Later they painted (supposedly the paper but mostly each other) and had a piñata—except it was with a pottery bowl and they spun the kids so much that you never knew where they were headed. The adults had a time of worship and then fellowshipped in different groups while having a futebol tournament. Some people got together and sang—I was a part of one of these groups, two guys playing the guitar and the rest of us singing (normally, me not having a clue what I was singing) and those moments were heaven. They are like food to the soul. My church won the tournament, by the way, so that was neato too.

 

I was always running around everywhere, going here and there like a butterfly. There is something about me that always tells me to keep moving—to keep looking—that just around the corner is something more—something perfect. I get the feeling this is good and bad. It pushes me on—but will I ever stop? Will I ever know when enough is enough? Will I pass up what is right for me for the illusion of something better? Bleh. There is my philosophical moment.

 

And then Thursday I woke up sick. Like “everything feels alittle off and yet nothing specific is wrong” kind of thing. Basically, I have just slept, ate, slept some more, watched a movie, and then slept the whole night. I did manage to still have English classes, and I went to church tonight, but not much else. Everyone was at first worried that I had Dingy (which is really spelled something like “Dengue”) fever, but so far I have not turned red with white spots like Pastor Josue, so I don’t think it is that. I don’t have my normal cold issues—runny nose, coughing…just the constant tiredness and ability to sleep half the day. So please do pray for me. This is my first time being sick this trip, so that is a blessing and everyone is very sweet and baby-ing me.

 

Get this: “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil.4:7 I never really thought about asking God for His PEACE to guard my heart…but I guess when I am walking in His peace, my heart is secure and my thoughts are complete—I am satisfied and cannot be tempted with anything other than God because I know it is a cheap substitute.

 

Open the door

Let life come rushing in

It blows in my eyes

I scream in terror

Because I cannot see

 

But I need this now

Nothing else will satisfy

The ocean to cover me

With my face lifted to the sky

 

Whatever comes will come

And I want to face it head on

Because the battle is on

Whether I flee or fight

And I darn well

Want to see what’s coming

 

I am sick of being

In my cowardly shell

Waiting for calamity to knock

Before I am aroused

 

I need this now

Nothing else will satisfy

The ocean to cover me

With my face lifted to the sky

 

Come if you must

Blow me through

If it is my time

But I want to know

I was looking you

In the face

Doing what I know was true

 

The battle rushes

I keep stumbling

And getting sidetracked

Point me in the right direction

 

I need this now

Nothing else will satisfy

The ocean to cover me

With my face lifted to the sky

this is Christiana and Monica. Christiana has been staying with me while Pastor Josue has all his medical appointments and such and is really a great girl. i met Monica last year and she is great too–she was living with Christiana´s brother, but they both got saved and got married last year. Then, they brought the whole family (who now goes regularly to the church) and Christiana is going to be going to the seminary next year! wow! miracles!

This is MOnica and i with Ivy in the middle. Ivy is so much fun. she is a great mom and leader, as well as playing around and having fun with Christiana and i. today she took us out for fresh churros! she is one of my heros. i tried to get a picture with Josue, but he does not want a picture until he is completely over the Dingy fever and turning red with white spots…

aww. isn´t that cool? yesterday was Childrens Day in Brasil. we had a special service and blew up all those balloons (i  was so light headed after that) and yours truely was put to work making the cute little ant poster thingy in the background.

anyways…random things about me..(because i have nothing better to talk about and i am sick of Portuguese at the moment)

never buy red toothpaste because you always freak out and think you are bleeding to death. treasure the hot showers while you have them…because you really miss them when you don~t have them (although i have found my time in the shower to be much faster). Ice Age is just as funny in Portuguese as it is in English–but Sid the Sloth´s voice isn´t half so good (somehow a lisp just doesn´t work with Portuguese). When in doubt, just mix the English and Portguese words together and you will come up with a new word that makes everyone laugh (this happens numerous times…)

i made pizza today (thanks for the cookbook mom!) and it was a success even if i did forget to kneed it and used some unidentifiable ingredients and the oven is possessed and always burns me (you should see me trying to light it…you have to turn on the gas, light a napkin and stick it in the pilot light without dying and blowing the house up). I am feeling pretty confident in this cooking stuff…and even Ivy is asking me for my cookie recipe!:)

Rachel

 

 

I feel like I have gotten so much done the past couple of days…writing papers, teaching class, riding the bus by myself wherever I wanted to go (yeah baby!), having incredible times with God…wow. Do i really have to tell you who my Hero is or can you figure it out?

+++++

 

You’re my Hero

I see Your armor shine when I  look to the son

You’re my Hero

Standing up for me when others jeer for fun

You’re my Hero

You cover my ears and guard my innocence

You’re my Hero

Leading my dreams and my sub-consciousness

 

You’re my Hero

And what blows my mind

Is that You call me Yours

And I call You mine

 

You’re my Hero

Fighting my battles and winning my heart

You’re my Hero

Picking me up and telling me how to start

You’re my Hero

Giving what I needed before I knew to ask

You’re my Hero

Seeing I am beautiful and removing my mask

 

You’re my Hero

And what blows my mind

Is that You call me Yours

And I call You mine

 

You’re my Hero

Whipping my tears and crying Your own

You’re my Hero

More than I could dream or ever have known

You’re my Hero

Offering extravagance in my existence

You’re my Hero

Loving me without any pretence

 

You’re my Hero

And what blows my mind

Is that You call me Yours

And I call You mine

 

You’re my Hero

Calling me back when I run away

You’re my Hero

You hold me in Your arms and ask me to stay

You’re my Hero

Destroying the fears that cover my eyes

You’re my Hero

Setting me free from all my earthly ties

 

You’re my Hero

And what blows my mind

Is that You call me Yours

And I call You mine