October 1, 2005
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It is starting to heat up here in Brasil, and I am becoming Brasilian in more ways than one as I get into the habit of having two showers a day. I am now living with Pastor Josue, his wife Ivy, and their two girls, Juliana (6) and Isabelah (4). I live above a store that always has fresh bread, and the apartment has a porch with a hammock where I can see the street and the school that I used to attend. I really am enjoying it here, and the only difficult thing is cold showers. But as long as I get all hot and sweaty here (which takes about 5 minutes flat), I am finding they are not so torturous.
You know how I don’t like coffee, milk (the milk in Brasil is just enough different—I mean hey, it can last six months on the shelf, so there has to be SOMETHING majorly different about it—that I haven’t gotten used to the taste), or chocolate? Well, I have found that if I mix them together (3/4th milk and 1/4th coffee) I get something close to a frapachino. Since Josue and Ivy drink coffee religiously for breakfast and dinner, this is a treat I enjoy and can fit right in with their family.
Every morning at 5:30am Ivy walks around Timbauba. I have discovered a whole new world during this time (and I had no clue so many people walked in Brasil), as I get to watch the sun rise over the hill, shining through the palm trees. I love watching the people, listening to Ivy and Christiana chatter away in Portuguese (although I mostly tune out since they speak so fast), and breathe the fresh air of a new day. It is fun to pass the center where about 50 older people are gathered and a guy blasts some dancing music while leading the group in dancing/exercising.
I really enjoy living with a pastor’s family, it is a lot different from Marcio’s home. For one thing, I got up and lounged around today, thinking that since it was Saturday it would not matter, only to have half the church show up at different times while I was still in my pajamas. But it’s all right, because they never know what to expect from me anyways, so pretty much accept anythingJ. Please pray for Pastor Josue, because Thursday he unexpectedly came down with…something. He thinks it is dingy fever, which sounds very horrible, and I was pretty worried about catching it, but I think it is only passed through mosquitoes. Dingy fever sounds like something you only get in India or something. I gotta keep my eyes out for those mosquitoes. Bleh.
Wednesday I went to English class that Raquel’s teacher invited me to. We ended up spending the whole time talking about me—from what I thought about the hurricane, to religion, to how the heck I came to little-bitty Timbauba. It was fun. I always feel special when I can do something well. Thursday I went to the Alconce and made a cake (mixing a whole bunch of things until I thought nothing would work) and everyone actually liked it. It was basically passion fruit/guava mix (my secret ingredient was instant juice stuff…I thought it might bring out the flavor). Classes went well and Filphe and Diego (friends from English camp) came to see me. I went to church with them that evening, and as we showed up, they decided I should sing…you know, another impromptu to thingy, and it went really well. They go to a Presbyterian church, and the pastor is a teacher at the Alconce. Every time he sees me he gives me a big hug, tells me how great I am, and says the next time he will bring me bolo de rolo and suco de Maracuja (my two favorite things). I doubt he will ever remember, but it is a sweet thought anyways.
Since I do not have a way back from Timbauba, I get to spend Thursday nights in Nazare with Tele’s family. Karine and I enjoyed the time to catch up on life (you know, all the giggly stuff as this is her first official week with a boyfriend), and I got to watch CNN and feel American again. These times are really nice. I have hit the three-month mark, and am finding some things I miss—like my kids at the youth center. I miss my car and driving wherever I want, whenever I want. I miss having a job where I am needed. I miss the park, and a gym where I can get all hot and sweaty. And don’t forget my family. I think what I miss most is not being a part of the memories. I am making so many wonderful memories, but so is everyone else in the US…and all those memories are different. But enough of that.
Friday I achieved one of my goals—to master the bus system (well, at least to do it without getting lost or hyperventilating). This is really nice so I don’t have to rely and worry and bug Tele about taking me here or there. So I bought some fried corn and fresh guavas (all for less than $.50US) and boarded the bus. I enjoyed snacking away while watching the sugarcane pass. It is a good thing I didn’t eat more for lunch, because sometimes the ride was so bumpy I would miss my mouth as I tried to eat my corn (the corn is literally cooked until slightly blackened over the fire, and is much chewier than our normal corn on the cob). Good thing I have walked with Ivy all over Timbauba, because then I found my way from the bus station to their house just fine—exhausted, but happy and feeling more independent than I have in months. OH! The power! Bwahahaha! Don’t worry; I won’t take over the world until tomorrow.
Rachel
Stop
Make a choice
The choice of a lifetime
Once it is done
It is final
No looking back
You will give your life
You will die your death
To defend this choice
Go
On each day
Living this choice
In the good
And the bad
Whatever will come
Will come
It changes nothing
Any consequence
Is already accepted
Faith
Is making the choice
The choice of a lifetime
Once it is done
It is final
It is saying
I see the truth
And will accept
Nothing less
Trust
Is going on
Living the faith
When it is easy
And when it is not
It is knowing
That what comes
Will come
But I will continue
On
Love
Is making the choice
The choice of a lifetime
Once it is done
It is final
It is saying
I choose you
And reject
All others
Marriage
Is going on
Living this love
When it is easy
And when it is not
It is knowing
That what comes
Will come
But I will continue
On
Because nothing
Shown in the light
Changes in darkness
There is no
New information
All I need to know
Is already written
All I need to say
Is already spoken
A choice
Is not worth making
Unless I put
My life behind it
I am wind
With no movement
I am waves
With no water
I am sound
With no voice
If I am not willing
To risk it all
For that choice
To say that
There are things
Bigger than me
And I will give all
Just to know them
Because my life
Is too small
To live for only me
My life is too short
To hold in my
Expectancy
The days are
Futile and fleeting
Worthless and waning
As I sit
In the middle
Viewing the adventure
Seeing the glory
The excitement burning
The expectation aching
But I know
It is not safe
I know
I will loose it all
And my fears
Tie my hands
I think that
If I follow
I will go too far
To ever return
And when I get there
I will find it is only
A mirage
And in the end
I will have nothing
Not even the rags
I had before
I am afraid
That it is really
All I deserve anyway
So I might as well
Eat and drink
For tomorrow I die
Why should I go after more
When I can’t even keep
What I have?
And then one morning
I wake up disgusted
That I am satisfied
With so little
I realize I would
Give everything I have
To simply end
The emptiness inside me
And even if it isn’t true
I could rest in peace
Knowing I didn’t hold back
And I would rather
Have nothing
Than the trash
I call something
I would rather
Be disillusioned
Than never followed
A dream
And with faith
And something beyond
Myself
I know it is not a dream
I know it is not an illusion
I know what is written
Is true
I would give my life for it
Now I must go and
Live in remembrance
Of this
So blow me
Where you will
Do your worst—
I will be here still
I believe in something
Stronger than you
And no matter what happens
It will still be true
These are the choices
That shape my life
And I will live in
The light of them
Even when I can’t see
Comments (4)
Hey Rachel! This is Mai Lewis from the ITC! I just found your site and wanted to say hi!
Hope life is great for ya!
Hey Rachel, Regan here, i just sa, that you subscribed to me so you must remember who i am. Well hello and i hope that all is well for you. When i have more time i’ll have to read your site thuroughly. Do you see Tele often in Brazil? where are you down there? (yea, i could probably find that out if i took the time to read it but i don’t have that time now…) so good to hear from you.
Regan
Thanks for enlisting up to my blog.
Up at 5am and enjoying it? Yes, that does sound like the Rachel that was my roomie back at ITC. I still remember your getting up at like 4am or whatnot to go use the phone in the lobby *every* morning. lol. We definitely had some great times together. I am so happy to hear that you are still “enlarging your coasts” and what an awesome experience getting to live in Brazil! Wow! Do keep in touch. =)