Month: November 2005

  • Pray. now. please.


     


    just heard…through the grape vine…my babies are in trouble. and i am stuck here in Brasil and i want to just stretch out of my skin and zoom to indy and rescue them. yep. that is what i want to do.


     


    four of my favorite kids…all from the same family…my babies. i love these kids. if i knew they needed it and it would work, i would come home right now and adopt them. i feel it deep. their mom is in jail. again. she spent last Christmas in jail. AGAIN. in jail. their father lives in Ft.Wayne. i don´t know what kind of a guy he is. and frankly, i don´t trust him with my babies. (my babies are getting big–13,14,15) oh God what is wrong with this world?


     


    or should i ask what is right with it.

  • Random thoughts.


     


    I have decided that I totally underestimate myself. I am the center of the universe after all. No, but seriously, I have found that humor is a good thing to hide your insecurities and fear of failing behind.


     


    I stole this thought from a friend…but I changed a couple words so it does not count: “I envy the person I could be but choose not to be.” I want to be so much more.


     


    When you surrender things you don’t have to stress about them. When you start stressing again it is a sign you took them off the alter of surrender.


     


    Ivy is dancing around the house. Her futebol team just scored another goal. Josue is getting grumpy. It is against his team.


     


    I now know enough Portuguese to have theological discussions. Unfortunately, I have forgotten the five points of Calvinism and so I cannot remember what I believe and what I don’t.


     


    When you hug a person, you are supposed to put your head one direction and they the other direction. I always manage to smash my face by going the wrong way. Oh well. Hugs are dangerous anyways.


     


    Karine (or a ghost) enjoys turning off the hot water every time I get in the shower. This is an evil way of messing with my mind.


     


    Wednesday was the  “Day of the Dead” in Brasil. We played futebol insteadJ.


     


    I now have had dreams in Portuguese. I woke up long enough to remember the proper conjugation of the verb. Those are called nightmares.


     


    I tried “Guarana do Amazonas” juice from the Amazon and it tastes like peanut butter and jelly in a glass. It looks like it too.


     


    To hide from myself I have to hide from God—and that is just too stinkin hard.


     


    The secret to being satisfied is not being selfish. The secret to not being selfish is to be too busy serving others and having other passions consume you—namely knowing God and making Him known.


     


    I read Lamentations 3 and the first half of the chapter I thought God should zap him (Jeremiah) with lightning because he was blaming, ranting, and raving at God. But not only does God let Jeremiah get away with it, he also sticks it as inspired Word of God. Wow. And then while he is ranting about how God is skinning him alive—he cries out to God. Because ya know, no matter what our silly little mouths say, we have this deep knowing that no matter how much it hurts, no matter what it costs—“Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” That if Christ were not resurrected and the Bible true, we are  “above all men to be pitied.” All our eggs are in one basket. No second option. And the comes (in Lamentations 3) some of the deepest praise and adoration…


     


    “They (His mercies) are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I hope in Him! The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly…for a man (woman) to bear the yoke in his (her) youth…There may yet be hope…for the Lord will not cast off forever…”


     


    Because God, I can’t hide from you. It would be to deny my own immortal soul.


     


    We hope for what we trust in. oh yeah. That is an original “Rachel” quote. I think.


     


    “I never knew the dusk could break my heart. So much longing folding in. I’d give years away to have you here. To know I can’t lose you again.” –Fernando Ortega


     


    I called my family and my brother said “Oh Rachel I miss you. But I am glad you are in Brasil so you can tell those kids about Jesus.” I could only choke out a “oh Johnny, I am glad I am here too.”  He is gonna change the world someday, and I am gonna watch him and smile.


     


    It was my sister’s birthday yesterday. If she wasn’t my sis, I’d have to be very jealous of her because she is so lovely and beautiful and wonderful.


     


    So much praise is given on Sundays…I wonder how much of it is really pleasing to God.


     


    I find it funny how I am always so surprised when I ask a question—and God answers.


     


     


    About Brasil? Life was good this week. I felt like it was home. I felt like I was loved—more than I deserved. I got a lot of little things done, I studied a lot of Portuguese, I played some futebol and realized my feet move faster than my brain but then they don’t do the right thing…and now it is another Sunday and God is good.


     


    Rachel


    here is another song i wrote that night i could not sleep…i should have insomnia more often.


     


    Verse 1:


    I see admiration


    In your eye


    Looking at me like I’m


    The sun, the stars, the sky


     


    Now what do you


    Expect of me


    Who is it that


    You think me to be


     


    Chorus:


    Because if I am only


    Who I am


    Because of what you say


    Then who am I


    When I am only


    Me


     


    Verse 2:


    Deeper than your eyes


    Can see


    Is why you turned


    To look at me


     


    For it is God


    Who first loved me


    It is God


    Who’s making me free


     


    Chorus:


    Because if I am only


    Who I am


    Because of what you say


    Then who am I


    When I am only


    Me


     


    Bridge:


    I am because He is


    He is all I need


    I am because He is


    He is all I need

  • okay. this is NOT morbid. i am not planning on dying or anything, so relax. actually, i started writing this a couple months ago, and then last night i ended up finishing it (instead of sleeping). i even had a tune for it. neato.


    And if I die


    Before I wake


    I pray the Lord


    Your pain to take


     


    You need not worry


    You need not cry


    You need not fear


    Or question why


     


    It’s the journey


    I’ve been waiting


    All my life to make


    If I die before I wake


     


    And if I die


    Before I wake


    I pray the Lord


    This day to make


     


    A new story


    And new song


    Started and


    Continued on


     


    It’s the journey


    I’ve been waiting


    All my life to make


    If I die before I wake


     


    And if I die


    Before I wake


    I pray the Lord


    For His name’s sake


     


    To make His glory


    Shine today


    In all of this


    You do and say


     


    It’s the journey


    I’ve been waiting


    All my life to make


    If I die before I wake



     

  • this was our group from Timbauba for the camp…behind me is Ivy and Pastor Josue is standing behind her…then there are lots of small people you cannot see…across from me is George who plays the guitar like nobody´s buisness

    aren´t these trees incredible? i love them so much (this is the futebol field at the Alconce) and yes, i am the one standing in the middle of the picture not knowing what the heck is going on…at least i wasn´t getting my feet stepped on by that guy with shoes…

    This was our incredible campfire time (it was so hot even before the fire as far as climate) and here they are roasting marshmallows. you can see Diego has his on fire…i am in the right hand corner trying to open the chocolate bars and grahm crackers before they ate all the marshmallows:).