January 22, 2006

• you may call me “Katie” (my test scores tell me i am Katherine Hepburn).

  
  

   

  
  

  i am a happy person. really. life is good. and McDonalds has hamburger, fry, and Apple Pie for a buck. i got to spend a day with my Pattersons. They came to church with me and then we went to Circle Center. i tell you what. They sure are entertaining. Their cousin came, and since he thinks he is “all that,” i bet him that he couldn’t pull three numbers (i think he is 12). i am so evil. i tell you what, i am this good, respectable, ATI girl and then POW, reality hits. We had some funny looks as Eric calls me “momma” (yes, he’s black…is anyone offended by this remark? because you need to get over it. BLACK BLACK BLACK…i promise, it is an “ok” word to say. my kids are not offended)

  
  

  but i do have some sad news. hard for me to swallow. and when you have hard news you want to hold out and hope it isn’t true…another one of my girls is pregnant. She was one of the girls i led to the Lord. And the worse pill to swallow? The dad-to-be was one of my boys. They met at the youth center. i believe i had a hand in sharing the gospel with him also. Another one of my girls is due this month…

  
  

   

  
  

  Tia’s grandfather died. She came up to me with tears and said “i don’t like to cry, but my mom says i can’t keep holding it in…” Tia has some problems mentally, and it makes it hard for her to communicate everything…but that does not stop her from feeling the pain. Sometimes i walk out of the youth center doors and my heart is so heavy. These kids are going through so much. i sit, i listen, i hug them and pray for them and send them on their way. i have SO…LITTLE…POWER. i feel SO…VERY…WEAK.

  
  

   

  
  

  i dropped Michelle off at her house and she comes running back to me…”pray for me, i can hear my family yelling already.” Jasmine and her mom got in a fight and so her mom just called the police on her. Another one of my girls didn’t have any money and so was going to give her virginity to her boyfriend for his birthday present.

  
  

  But i have been able to sit down and have so many great conversations with so many kids. I brought nine girls to my house for dinner this week…and all of them were happy to get “Johnny Hugs” before they left. i am learning…that so much in life is the little things.

  
  

  little things matter. God is a God of the little things too.

  
  

  i love living life with God because He works in those little things. Like the lady who ran the red light and was a second away from crashing into me. but she missed. Like how Andrew (Andrew who wasn’t able to come to church with the rest of his family) was upset to find i am leaving for Brasil again. The unspoken (because they don’t know how to speak it) gratitude from my kids. Working out details and all those infinate things that happen when you are out of the country for six months. And my own heart. He knows it.

  
  

  “But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “o you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matt.14:30-31

  • 10:40 pm
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