January 24, 2006
-
i like driving. i like the sun shining so i have to put my cool sunglasses on. i like looking cool in my cool sunglasses. i went to Target–the super one. i sat and stood in front of the face wash stuff for 15 minutes. at least. options are killing me. they have five kinds of each thing and then ten brands to choose each one of those five things…stores are so much smaller in Brasil. That and the fact i spent almost $50 Reis (i still think in Brasilian money) on stuff like conditioner and zitzapper stuff (yes, i am 23 and struggling with zits. what is wrong with this world?) i am going to make this stuff last forever…or at least until i ease my conscience.
I am amazed at how much Christian stuff we have. My eyes popped when I went to the Christian store because they have SO MUCH. All I need is the basics for Brasil, but so much is offered I keep getting sidetracted. Until I remember I only have two suitcases. Today we got a catalog—a big one—with only Christian videos in it. We have so much. I turned on the radio and found three Christian stations. This stuff is not available in Brasil. I think maybe they only get in the way sometimes…so much stuff. I kept thinking “One thing was needful…” And Mary hath chosen the better part.
I have made little booklets for the girls to fill out. The first one is about writing your testimony, understanding the gospel, what baptism means, why people go to church, prayer, and assurance of your salvation (squeezed on to two flippin’ pages). I passed out about 10 today to various girls, with the promise of some candy from the candy store if they filled them out. Not only did 5 girls fill them out, but they talked and opened up to me about them. With real questions and real understanding. I love it. Tina really got it when it came to assurance of salvation. Tia wrote out a very true, very concise gospel presentation—with Scripture references! Kaila was digging in the Bible for the answers all afternoon, and Michelle…Michelle began to care…alittle.
Ten years old with ball-balls in her hair
Stubborn—I knew she’d win if we’d fought
A good student who was going to change the world
She learned as fast as I could teach
If anyone had a question
She knew the answer
If they had a problem
They could go to her
She had her little attitude
But her heart was open
This is the girl I met
Three years ago
She opened the door with expectation
Growing up and ready to take it on
But the world only sneered
Waiting to take over
Her mom said she hated her
Her dad said he’d kill her
Her brother ran the streets
As she stood in horror
The pieces of her heart
Torn from her hands
Her beauty and dreams
Despised and rejected
She turned to the arms of a stranger
Who said the words of love
But then one after another
They took what they could and ran
She struggled with her knowledge
Knowing something wasn’t right
She knew what she should do
But was it worth the fight?
And life told her no
The world taught her
Not to care
What did she have left
To fight for anyway…
A conversation
A remembering
A stirring of the heart
A flicker of hope
A pain that must find solace
And Michelle has learned to care
A little…
****
This next thing is a song tucked into a weird cd…so weird i might just be in love with it. it spoke my heart.
“The Lark Ascending” or “(perhaps more accurately, i’m trying to make you sing)”
And i’m trying to make you sing from inside where you believe
Like it’s something that you need
like it means everything
And i’m trying to make you feel that this is for real
That life is happening
That it means everything
I’m just trying to make you sing
****
This is my prayer for my girls. this is my prayer for you. Sing loud and sing long.
