I hate to admit to you that I was seasick. Yeah, that sounds very wussy. What is even worse is to admit that now, a day and a half after being on ‘terra firma’, I am still seasick. We went on a cruise to Catalina and then dipped our toes in Mexico at Ensenada.

My Daddy got to come join us in California on New Years day and we left on Monday. Cruises seem to be mostly about eating and drinking. We cut out the drinking part, although I did sip the free champagne (nasty stuff), whiskey sour (which tasted fine until it played ‘Bingo’ in my stomach), and martini (it must have been stirred, not shaken, because I declare the stuff is only nail polish remover with an olive in it) just to say I did it. But as for the eating part…wow. And it is all free, darn it. The only disappointment I had was that Internet was $.75 a minute (I had enough money for 4 minutes) so I couldn’t write and tell you all about the joys of getting fat.

I cannot wrap my mind around the ocean. The idea is too big. There is too much of it. Then up comes a piece of land covered with life meeting with the crisp sky. Standing at the bow of the ship, the wind fighting me back, watching the sun dance on the waves…up and down, and up and down…forget seasickness. It is worth it. Watching the sun rise and set from my bed. Being rocked to sleep…yeah, there is a lot more than just food on a cruise. Very amazing. I even beat my dad at ping-pong, danced the “cha-cha” around the restaurant with my brother, and watched a guy feed pigeons off his baldhead, used the nickel slot machine, ate pizza at midnight with Anna, and consumed about three whole pineapples during the trip.

So now we came back to rest from our relaxing cruiseJ.

Random. I still like popping bubble wrap. And it still bothers Anna—unless she gets to pop it too. “Sus” is a British expression for “I figured it out.” I learned that on the “Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy” (not the movie…the radio version). And as cool as all that stuff is…it does not matter how many galaxies you go to if there is no God.

Am I who I am because of my surroundings? Do I change because of circumstance or because of conviction? From convenience or from challenge? Now that everything around me is different, I find it easy to blend into the difference. Is it because I am flexible or because I do not know who I am? Is it because it is right or because it is easy?

My verse for this year is Colossians 3:15. The whole chapter is amazing. “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be grateful (I gotta go on for ya) Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord…”

Here’s a praise…ya know how someone stole $700 from my band account? Well, they recovered like half of it…praise God.

I am hitting the ground running…back in Indy now…thanks for your prayers

Hey God

Happy New Year

You and me

It was nice to be with Anna

I cannot concentrate

I cannot have my devotions

It does not matter what great things are going on

Or if I will offend someone

Because that is just a lame excuse

God

I need time with You

Brasil seems to far away

I was there just two weeks ago

But it feels like a lifetime

I talked on the phone

It was nice

It reminded me that I am special

God

Your way is the best

I just want to see it work

I want to see I am making the right choice

Not just believe it

God

You seem close

You love me

And I love you

I want to more

I have these desires

But what happens to them

Day to day kills them slowly

Silently strangling the desire to do right

And wasting my time into nothing

Because even if I do go to Disneyland

Or go on a Cruise

Or anywhere

The best day of my life will never be a day without You

Those days in the hammock

Struggling for strength…

Those were great days

Some of the greatest of my life

Let me make these days count for eternity

Let me walk with you

Don’t let me get lost in the business

Don’t let me get lost in trying to be helpful

My loyalties are first to You God

Let me be faithful

Let me not regret a moment…

GOD I DON’T

I don’t regret last year

Any of it

It was beautiful

I fell many times

I was weak

I was tempted

I tempted others

I sinned

But in the dirt and sweat

I stand in Your strength

I run the race

I lay aside any hindrances

And walk hand in hand with You

Oh my God

My Father

It is Your work

And it is lovely in our sight

I want this time

I need this time

I want to see You work in that too

And in Brasil

And in me

God

My heart is divided too

That is probably why I see it in others

I try on the commonplace life slippers

I slip into a normalcy robe

Enjoy my moment

Until I look over my shoulder

And see time chasing me

My guilt catches me

Hides my face from Your grace

But You come again

You make me white

Pure and innocent

Clean and new

Is it just for me to make messy again

Of will it be different this time