April 4, 2006

• April 2

  
  

   

  
  

  Fear comes from pain. Children who have not yet experienced deep pain are fearless. It is only after burning their finger on the oven that they start to fear it. Adults, after years of pain now have fears of everything. They have been hurt and decide “I will do anything to not get hurt again” so they build walls and these walls have fears of “what if it happens again?” we fear because we cannot control pain entering our lives before. The pain festers in their heart, making the memory of the pain bigger and worse than it actually was in the first place, like telling the story of how big the fish they caught was. Suddenly, life is not lived—it is protected. It is not explored, it is feared. The reason why Martyrs are so powerful is because they put their minds to face anything regardless of the pain—to face death. They open themselves up to pain—even invite it. The only way to live and accomplish anything in life is to lay aside our fear and walls to protect ourselves and invite the pain again. To be willing to have it to receive the beauty, the reward, the adventure. This is what love is. Making the choice to be open. Love ends the moment you stop choosing to be open. When you close yourself off in attempt to not be hurt again.

  
  

   

  
  

  That was the philosophical moment for the weekJ. It was a good week—a lot of work, some hard times, but very, very good. I have some amazing news—it is going to—Lord willing—work out for Anna (my best friend and sister) to come to Brasil. We still have to work out the details, but hopefully she can come in June. Yesssss. This blesses me beyond measure. It is like the best Christmas and birthday present ever. I can’t wait to share everything with her. So please do pray for her. She has a lot of stuff to get done and is hoping to get a job to save the money for the trip…

  
  

   

  
  

  The secret of the

  
  

  Present

  
  

  The moment you have

  
  

  Now

  
  

  Living in His

  
  

  Presence

  
  

  With all that you know

  
  

  How

  
  

   

  
  

  Milena forgot my name the other day, so she just started calling out “English, hey English, come here!” to get my attention. Great. Please tell me this is not my new nickname. Lili and Milena finally got upset with me. Every day I tell them “now it is time to do PACES” (our workbooks) and they finally came up to me and said “Teacher, every day you talk about peixies and we NEVER have seen them yet. Why are you lying?” (Pexie is “fish” but sounds a lot like PACE when you say it) They also think I am lying when I tell them that the livro is “book” because they think it sounds like “boca” which is mouth. I have patiently waiting while they explain once again that boca is mouth, and not the book I keep pointing to. Oh, to be 4 years old and have the world revolve around me again.

  
  

   

  
  

  Here are some deep thoughts from a book I read:

  
  

   

  
  

  “What you respect, you ultimately attract”

  
  

  “The proof of the desire is pursuit”

  
  

  “Your life will move in the direction of your dominant thought”

  
  

   

  
  

   I dreamed about Doritos last night—Cool Ranch ones. I was in…I think it was Meijer, and I saw this huge rack of Cool Ranch Doritos for 99cents each. My head is thinking “how can I get all these down to Brasil? This is amazing!” and then I turn around and see these big jars of peanut butter and get all excited of how happy everyone will be when I bring all this American food to Brasil…only to turn the other direction and get a view of the whole store. You gotta understand that Meijer is just intimidating after living in Brasil. By this time I am wondering if I can just hijack the whole plane to bring this food to Brasil. So I guess I am in withdrawal? Funny, I don’t even eat Doritos often in the US.

  • 4:44 pm
  • 2 Comments