my student called me “Hay-shell-zin-ya” today. this is better than “hey, English, come here,” but i still gotta work on it. They can’t say Rachel, so they say “Hay-Shell” and then the “zin-ya” is a Portuguses way of saying “oh, the cute little…” and then the name. it was rather funny. and sweet. and patronizing.

PRAISE THE LORD! we found this card thingy that somehow attaches to my computer thingy that makes it so my computer can get the internet…well, at least when i go downtown…or what is considered downtown here in Carpina…but hey…i am happy. little victories…right?

morning classes–front row is Milena and Livia, back row is John, Carol, Neto, and Feliphe

this is what they normally look like:).

including teachers–Fernanda and Ivana in the back, Karine and i in the front

my afternoon class–eight kids plus Johnny–back row are my older kids: Joao, Adna, Mariana, and Alexandra, front row are my 5 year olds–Amanda, Suelle, Mateus, and Mateus. yes, two Matues’ is confusing. 9 kids is confusing. but i love ‘em.

Why do I feel

Like something beautiful

In my life died

 

Why does it make

Getting up in the morning

Harder

 

Can continuing to love

Be as beautiful as

The love itself?

 

Is it an opportunity

To dance in the moonlight

Is it a beautiful thing

To live life with You

 

When did I stop

Looking at the stars

When did the beauty

Make my face turn away

 

When did the rain

Feel like balm to my soul

Expressing emotions

That I refuse to let loose

 

Continuing to love

Is as beautiful as

The love itself

 

It is an opportunity

To dance in the moonlight

It is a beautiful thing

To live life with You

 

 

 

April 2

 

Fear comes from pain. Children who have not yet experienced deep pain are fearless. It is only after burning their finger on the oven that they start to fear it. Adults, after years of pain now have fears of everything. They have been hurt and decide “I will do anything to not get hurt again” so they build walls and these walls have fears of “what if it happens again?” we fear because we cannot control pain entering our lives before. The pain festers in their heart, making the memory of the pain bigger and worse than it actually was in the first place, like telling the story of how big the fish they caught was. Suddenly, life is not lived—it is protected. It is not explored, it is feared. The reason why Martyrs are so powerful is because they put their minds to face anything regardless of the pain—to face death. They open themselves up to pain—even invite it. The only way to live and accomplish anything in life is to lay aside our fear and walls to protect ourselves and invite the pain again. To be willing to have it to receive the beauty, the reward, the adventure. This is what love is. Making the choice to be open. Love ends the moment you stop choosing to be open. When you close yourself off in attempt to not be hurt again.

 

That was the philosophical moment for the weekJ. It was a good week—a lot of work, some hard times, but very, very good. I have some amazing news—it is going to—Lord willing—work out for Anna (my best friend and sister) to come to Brasil. We still have to work out the details, but hopefully she can come in June. Yesssss. This blesses me beyond measure. It is like the best Christmas and birthday present ever. I can’t wait to share everything with her. So please do pray for her. She has a lot of stuff to get done and is hoping to get a job to save the money for the trip…

 

The secret of the

Present

The moment you have

Now

Living in His

Presence

With all that you know

How

 

Milena forgot my name the other day, so she just started calling out “English, hey English, come here!” to get my attention. Great. Please tell me this is not my new nickname. Lili and Milena finally got upset with me. Every day I tell them “now it is time to do PACES” (our workbooks) and they finally came up to me and said “Teacher, every day you talk about peixies and we NEVER have seen them yet. Why are you lying?” (Pexie is “fish” but sounds a lot like PACE when you say it) They also think I am lying when I tell them that the livro is “book” because they think it sounds like “boca” which is mouth. I have patiently waiting while they explain once again that boca is mouth, and not the book I keep pointing to. Oh, to be 4 years old and have the world revolve around me again.

 

Here are some deep thoughts from a book I read:

 

“What you respect, you ultimately attract”

“The proof of the desire is pursuit”

“Your life will move in the direction of your dominant thought”

 

 I dreamed about Doritos last night—Cool Ranch ones. I was in…I think it was Meijer, and I saw this huge rack of Cool Ranch Doritos for 99cents each. My head is thinking “how can I get all these down to Brasil? This is amazing!” and then I turn around and see these big jars of peanut butter and get all excited of how happy everyone will be when I bring all this American food to Brasil…only to turn the other direction and get a view of the whole store. You gotta understand that Meijer is just intimidating after living in Brasil. By this time I am wondering if I can just hijack the whole plane to bring this food to Brasil. So I guess I am in withdrawal? Funny, I don’t even eat Doritos often in the US.