May 3, 2006
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I am sick of saying
To try again
I am tired of trying
To find a recipe
For success
I say the dreaded word
That I don’t know
The answer
It is a wall
With no windows
A divider
With no end
When will it fall
When will you walk free
When will He call
And You learn to see
If God is real
Then He is true
If He is true
Then what He says
Will happen
If what He says
will happen
then I’ll see miracles
in Your life
the wall will fall
You will walk free
He will call
And you will see
What am I waiting for
Holding on to pain
When is the moment
Hope turns into reality
No, I don’t understand
Why release does not come now
I don’t see why You are
Waiting to work
I shake my fist
in anger
My rage dies down
To tears
I stand up again
You did not punish me
For doubting
I see nothing different yet
The wall will fall
You will walk free
He will call
And you will see
All there is
All that life means
And where you fit
And you will grow
Comments (4)
awww…thank you sOoOo MUCH! i love you, Rachel! i’m glad to hear you’re not down today!
i get down pretty easily sometimes, but then when God gives me hope again…i seem to get up pretty easily sometimes too! haha. i think sometimes God allows us to feel such strong emotions though so we can write & help others too! haha. sometimes i feel that way at least…& sometimes just to grow. i have a LOT of growing to do, but at least i’m still growing i guess!
haha…i keep rambling…sorry. btw, thanx for the compliment about the picture!
Drew’s pretty handsomely cute if i must say so myself!
hehe. things aren’t always perfect between us (actually far from it at times…we can both testify to that…hehe)…but the good thing is we haven’t given up & we’re not ever gonna give up & we’re learning a LOT from each other i think. it’s CrAzY cuz i’ve never found it so hard to love anybody before (at least in a relationship like that i think)…not that he’s hard to love…we’re just different in the loving way…but i’ve never wanted to love anybody more either & instead of just keep persisting on loving the same way i’m used to…i’ve finally just given up my way & told God i’m just ready to learn & i found out i’m pretty horrid at loving sometimes! haha. i hope someday to change that…so please pray!
oh, & you HAVE to come to our wedding now since it isn’t this summer anymore, but next! k?!? k. glad you can come!
haha. well, i just wanted to let you know i love you & thank you TREMENDOUSLY for doing this for me!
btw, my LAST day of COLLEGE was TODAY!!! PRAISE JESUS!
haha. God bless you, beautiful Rachel! 
><>RaCHeL<><
sorry…they always end up sOoOo long! haha. i really don’t even try for them to!
Hey Rachel! Sorry I’ve been so – well – absent. I’ve been really selfishly focused recently and have missed out on my friendships because of it. I’ve been an oober procrastinator this semester and had about 3 weeks to finish a sememester’s worth of homework – while at the same time train my replacement at the Church and move. Yeah so I am really regretting my lazines this semester. I mean I have know idea what I did with the time i wasted – i didn’t really hang out with anyone and I don’t have a tv – so wierd.
Anyway all that to say I am sorry. Can you forgive me?
It was super good to hear from you on the phone and I finally got your message – I’ll be waiting to hear from your folks about the Camara.
And now that I’m free from school (and nearly free from work) —- lets do this newsletter thing!!!
Are you game? (I know it should have been out in like – oh um March – but it’s never too late right??) Can we start on Monday – I’ll email you some of my ideas on Monday and maybe you can email me some of yours (send them to Jeff’s address – JeffRoyTurner@gmail.com) -Sound good??
Also – the real reason I responded: you sound really up in these last two posts – so I want you to know I’m praying for you – I can’t get it out of my head that I need to pray for you –
- Lindsay
We have Skpe and I will try to be online with it more often. My Username is Jeffroyt if you have a seperate account other than tele’s then let me know. -Jeff-