June 4, 2006
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stupid smilies. grr.Do you know that the Portuguese word for “Boyfriend” is also
the word for a kind of fish? Ironic. Did you know that I have an obsession with
the phone ringing?“To wait is to learn the spiritual grace of detachment—the
freedom from desire. Not the absence of desire, but desire at rest…this is not
a cold and indifferent attitude…an authentic spiritual understanding of
detachment devalues neither desire nor the objects of its desire. Instead, it “aims
at correcting one’s own anxious grasping in order to free oneself for a
committed relationship to God…in this posture we discover that, indeed we are
expanded by longing. Something grows in us, a capacity if you will, for life
and love and God…there is actually a sweet pain in longing if we will let it
draw our hearts homeward.”Exactly.
Something inside me
Is burning
And always leaves an ache
What can it be
That seems to be
Stronger than me
Holding me back
From attaining
The hope of tomorrow
The wish for things
Done right
The regret of yesterday
And not wanting
To fall again
Will it last
This strength
That confounds me
I ate something nicknamed “Donkey tea” yesterday. It was
soft corn soupy sweet stuff. Yum. Seriously. I liked it.How many hours are in 4 days? Because that is when my sister
gets here.We made it through the month financially. That is a
blessing. That is the blessing and good thing I am trying to focus on. But it
is hard. I don’t get it. The Living Stones program in Paudalho…a program sorta
like the youth center in Indy…where they feed, help tutor, and teach about
Jesus to 30+ really needy kids has been closed. Hopefully temporarily. The
money just isn’t there. And the other two programs like it (in Carpina and
Guadalajara) are pretty low, in Guadalajara the workers have not been pain in a
couple months (they were normally only paid 35$US a month, but it helped
because they were spending most of their day at the program). I go through all
the emotions. Sad. Grief. Anger. How can some people have so much and be fine
with sitting on their pile of money while 30 children are out of the one
regular meal they got each day? Questioning. Doesn’t God want this program to
happen? Pastor Assuario, the first missionary sent out by the churches here to
and more money is needed and…we just don’t have it. why not? Money problems
seem to make it just alittle harder to wake up in the mornings. Alittle harder
to remember why we are working so hard. You seem to question life more.Nina and Peppie (the two labs give to us that Tele is so
proud of) had puppies—two black ones and 5 cream ones. They look like rats.
They sound like brats. But I am sure they will turn out all right. I mean, case
in point is my brother. He was pretty ugly looking when he popped into the
world too…but he’s turned out pretty darn good. Smile.The acerola trees are blooming, giving us nice, plump, FREE
berries the size of cherries and containing like TONS of vitamin C. They are delicious. Our class took two
different trips out to visit them so far. I figure it is educational, good for
our health…and come on, I was hungry. And the Jambo tree is almost ripe. Last
December we had a bumper crop of Jambo—a redish/purple fruit with white insides
that tastes sorta like a pear—and so at all times of the day I would run to the
back, pick up the long pole, and begin my jousting contest with the tree to try
to bash the fruit until it fell off the high branches. The tricky part is
trying to catch it with a 20ft. pole in your hands. I normally catch it with my
head. Did I mention the joys of FREE fruit?O Copa de Mundo. The very words strike up an hour or two
conversation. Trust me, I’ve been there. I think I have heard the history of
Brasil and the World cup at least four different times. People don’t ask about
the weather in Brasil—for conversation, it is the Cup. I have come to the
understanding that if the
beats Brasil, my life may be in jeopardy. I am rooting for Brasil. It just
makes my life easier. Karine said that during the Cup would be a great time for
a drug bust, because all the drug dealers are watching the Cup. Heather replied
that the problem was, all the police were watching too! During the games, their
murder rate drops to zero. No joke. The streets are empty…and we are planning
now so we can end classes early for the parents to get back home before the
games start. That makes me laugh. I think.My purse almost got stolen during Tele’s prayer. He was
praying at church in Timbauba Saturday night and then suddenly the lights went
out. It turns out two guys came in and tried to grab my purse off the chair
(why I always seem to leave my purse alone is beyond
about three of my brothers were sitting in the back and they grabbed my purse
first. I only had about 10 bucks, but I had my Bible and camera, which are
pretty irreplaceable.Last year I went with Ricardo to Laoga De Itaenga and met
this girl Ana Paula. I remember thinking how she would be awesome for God. And
today, after Ricardo has been presenting the gospel every week for almost two
years, Ana Paula accepted Christ. It was time. And…wow. Please pray for her.
She is the daughter of the lady who’s husband is a drunk and beats them when he
comes home. Fortunately, he hasn’t come home in awhile.My brother made his first basket this weekend. With a real
basketball. Wish I could have seen it.“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet,
you also aught to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that
you should do as I have done to you.”
John 13:14-15
