September 9, 2006

• i’ll tell you flat out

  it hurts so much to think of this

  so from my thoughts i will exclude

  the very thing that

  i hate more than everything is

  the way i’m powerless

  to dictate my own moods

  I’ve throw away

  so many things that could’ve been so much more

  and i just pray

  my problems go away if they’re ignored

  but that’s not the way it works

   

  When i go down

  i go down hard

  and i take everything i’ve learned

  and teach myself some disregard

  when i go down

  it hurts to hit the bottom

  and of the things that got me there

  i think, if only i had fought them

   

  if and when i can

  clear myself of this clouded mind

  i’ll watch myself settle down

  into a place where

  peace can search me out and find

  that i’m so ready to be found

  i’ve thrown away

  the hope i had in friendships

  i’ve thrown away

  so many things that could have been much more

  i’ve thrown away

  the secret to finding an end to this

  and i just pray

  my problems go away

  if they’re ignored

  but that’s not how it works

   

  any control i thought i had

  just slips right through my hands

  while my ever-present conscience

  shakes its head and reprimands me

  then and there

  i confess

  i’ll blame all this on me selfishness

  yet you love me

  and that consumes me

  and i’ll stand up again

  and do so willingly

  You give me hope

  and hope it gives me life

  you touch my heavy heart

  and when you do you make it light

  as i exhale i hear your voice

  and i answer you

  though i hardly make a noise

  and from my lips the words

  i choose to say

  seem pathetic

  but it’s a fallen man’s praise

  because i love you

  and life is now worth living

  if only because of you

  and when they say i’m dead and gone

  it won’t be further from the truth

   

  when i go down

  i lift my eyes to you

  i won’t look very far

  cause you’ll be there

  with open arms

  to lift me up again

  –Relient K “When i go down”

  also known as the story of Rachel’s life.

   

  • 11:45 pm
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