October 23, 2006
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“Art is about asking questions…politics is about having answers.” –Amy Falstrom (my “art appreciation” teacher)
This has just explained my hatred for politics…and my love of art. and since my art teacher let me out early, why i am typing random thoughts at the moment.
Don’t tell me it is easy to be a Christian but don’t say it is not worth it
Don’t tell me that God will always feel near but remind me that He is there
Don’t tell me i will always know what is right or wrong but believe that i will find it
Don’t tell me Christianity will solve all my problems but know it is the answer
Don’t tell me i should always be happy but want to make me smile
Don’t pray with me and then send me on alone and think i’ll be okay
Don’t preach to make me feel guilty but don’t hide from truth
Don’t speak of hell as if that is all i would lose if i didn’t listen
Don’t intimidate me to say you are right or to do things your way
Don’t hold me too close but don’t let me go
Don’t give up on me but don’t suffocate me
Don’t tie me down to your ideas but don’t quit sharing
Don’t think you have to fix me but don’t give up hoping
Don’t think you are a failure if i don’t agree or understand
Trust in God to do things right even if it is not how you or i planned it
Wait for a miracle and then expect it to happen
Be happy when i grow or change but don’t think its the beginning or the end
i am happy and love life and God and everything
but sometimes i don’t
sometimes i hate it all
and let that be okay
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I cried in Church last night. i haven’t decided if it was because i was so happy at what happened or so sad that i hadn’t expected it. Someone i’d been praying for and known for a long time got saved…(i really don’t like those terms, but it is the words everyone uses and understands, so i say them)…er…realized his need and surrendered to God…and shared his testimony. It was incredible. powerful. and the jaded, disillusioned person in me broke for a moment. I heard a story like this “Two farmers prayed for rain. The next day one went and prepared his fields for rain…which one had faith?” i had sat down and prayed for this guy. i had sat down and prayed for the fall retreat…i’d hoped for a miracle…pretty generally, but one just the same. and then am shocked when one happens. Where is my prepared field? And my heart goes out to this guy. he’s just walked into a struggle. a challenge. an adventure. It is so easy to sit in church and listen and cheer for him and then go home and forget him and everyone else in your own little world. so please remember Donovan in your prayers.
