November 25, 2006

• Just watched “What Dreams May Come.” wow. got some messed up stuff in there, but tons of truth. perhaps more than i’d like to admit or that feels comfortable talking about.

  “Don’t try too hard to experience God. That never works for me. Just be available to Him. Be quiet, and listen. Notice the direction your heart goes. God will speak to us in lots of ways–in a memory, in a Scripture, in our desire, and in that still, small voice within. Journal about what you are sensing, what you are feeling. take your questions to Him.” John Eldredge in “The Way of the Wild Heart”

  i used to speak about hearing God in a hushed tone because i didn’t want people thinking i was crazy. even quietly some people questioned if i was simply hearing what i want to hear. maybe sometimes i am. but there is more to it. and i am tired of saying it quietly. i love having a relationship with God. Talking to Him and listening. Having the Holy Spirit living inside of me. Were all those verses just pretty language–or is it real? 1 Cor.6:19-20, Rev.3:20…is it possible that all the fullness of God is living in me? HECK yeah!

  Your weekly Kindergarten quote is from Lauren, who told me “i am used to sharing…and well, my sisters–they are used to having.”

  Only had a couple days open at the youth center, and we had a guest speaker for the Jr’s. He shared about Samson. As he rounded the corner on his story, he of course told about how Samson managed to kill more in his death than in his life. As i watched the speakers face, i saw a blank look pass as he realized the moral to his story. he raised his eyebrows and i could swear to you he was thinking “gosh, i just told a bunch of kids that if God is with you, you might get to kill lots of people as you commit suicide” he recovered, made sure the kids knew it was God’s enemies that died…and we ended soon after that.

  it made me laugh. and think. how exactly do you reconcile that? i haven’t really found an answer yet. and that’s ok. i don’t think the Jr’s are going to work to apply the Bible study. sometimes the only word for some moments is “ironic.”

  4:27am Friday morning my alarm went off

  4:35 and i was out the door

  4:45 i arrived at Sears

  4:50 We were told that all the 10$ gift certificates had already been given out. i sat down and bundled like an antisocial mummy

  5:00 I walked in the door and got an MP3 player. The people behind me reached forward and took 4 more. i was suddenly possessed by an animal territorial instinct and reached out to take 10 more. But i recomposed, remembered my bank account and starving children in Africa, bought just that one, and walked out the door rather self-righteously.

  5:17 i passed Circuit City and saw an ambulance in front. Shake my head in dismay.

  5:27 i arrive at Office Depot and sit in the car to be stubborn and prove that i am not driven by sales and have restraint

  5:33 i decide to be social and listen to everyone talking in line. The store opens at 6am. i feel better as i hear about the crazy people who waited at Best Buy since 3pm Thanksgiving afternoon. see? what is half an hour? I feel even better when the speaker then PROUDLY (not sheepishly) told how he’d waited in line 32 hours for something once. random snowflakes fall, and i bundle into my antisocial mummy state once again, disgusted with democracy–but only until i got the DVD player for $14.99.

  Needless to say, it was a lovely Thanksgiving. yes Cortney, i did watch the Macy’s day parade. the whole thing. i think that one of the things that makes Thanksgivings so wonderful are past Thanksgivings. Remembering growing up…what we did and didn’t do. the fun, the food, the family…the fights…they all seem to play a part in the present. Even last year, being in Brasil made this year something special-er. and then today we got together with family. its a nice thing for a group of people to make an effort and sacrifice to get together and celebrate the fact they just happened to be be born in the same family. To make a choice to reach out and know people, keep up with people, and work through thick and thin with them simply from random genetics. grin. that is a scientific way of saying family is awesome. i love the whole concept. Good idea God.

   

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