i don’t really know where to start in writing about Brasil. so often i have come and just been awed by life and my senses have been tantalized…this time i felt like i was coming home. sometimes i wonder if i have ever left. to me, where the experiences before were new, different, and confusing, now they are expected and loved…although not always understood yet.

It looks different at the Alcance, my home–the hotel that was bought and restored and turned into a seminary and now a school. It is right off the main “highway” (the two lane road that connect all us “little towns” to Recife, the big city) and so easily accessible by combie (vw vans)  and bus. At first sight i thought they were turning it into a jail, as we now have a guard station, security cameras, and very impressive high bars around the front. But after a couple of days and a good paint job, it looks pretty professional. We’ve always had a guard, so this should make his job a little easier. i guess the son of the richest guy in town is coming to school, so we are now seen with dollar signs for robbers.

Walls and bars and guards always leave a bad taste in my mouth. the only thing good that has come from it was that the old guard gave me some lessons in Capoeira. grin. The bathrooms are getting redone, and more of the rooms are turning into classrooms. lots of desks and tables are everywhere, kid size and kid bright colors. The dining room has a clear divider, and the beautiful open space from the second floor is now walled up. I hear drilling when i wake up and people are hard at work doing everything. i wonder if there will ever be a time things are “done,” because when one thing finishes, another thing begins. The American group did an amazing job building a playground for the kids. it is awesome.

Today i got to see Tele’s house for the first time in…a long time. it is beautiful. i stood in it and felt…love. that overwhelming love when something amazing happens to people you care about. I look at it and say “Wow, God, you are so good to your children.” I am already imagining the laughter and fun and costume party that Heather said she will throw when it is finished. you will just have to wait for pictures to understand that better. just trust me when i say…it’s amazing. Heather looks at it and says “is that really for me?”

My freedom continues with bus and combie rides to the graphica and centro for random groceries. Combies are always interesting–during the last one we had already squeezed in four per row–including the front area converted into a row–and the guy still kept yelling out and asking for more passengers. then they decided (with the four per row) to stop for gas. i giggled when they kept tipping the combie up and down to…i am not sure what, for i didn’t understand the explanation. my giggle must have sounded American, because the guy gave me a accented “THANK YOU” rather than a typical “obrigado” when i left. or perhaps that i am white as a ghost…

What a relief that my Portuguese didn’t disappear. i am a little rusty on understanding people (especially people with different accents) but have been able to have deep conversations that get past colors, food, and “how are you?” most of my friendships seem to simply pick up where they dropped off six months ago. the fellowship is rich here, and i love the community feeling. even with the walls and guards, the doors are wide open in communion.

Wednesday night we had the reuniao (church) and i was struck by the price it cost others to get there. i am not used to paying anything to go to church (since most people here do not have cars, they pay the bus or combie or something to get there…or pay the price of not working, walking…). HOW MUCH HAS MY CHRISTIANITY EVER COST ME? do i go to church simply because it is a habit, the right thing to do–and doesn’t really cost me much time or energy? because it is an easy exchange for feeling like i paid my dues to God and religiousness?

i hadn’t seen Pastor Assuario since 2004 and i tried to guard him playing futebol. he passed the ball between my legs and we were fast friends. His family returned and now are living and running the church in Ameixas. the one church i haven’t been to…and hope to change that this Saturday. His kids are a lot bigger, and learned English in Africa and enjoyed talking with me.

This Sunday is the 1st anniversary of the church of Acacias, which is located at the Alcance. my church. a year already? hopefully, i can join the band again…and learn lots more songs in Portuguese.
There is lots of little changes…such as Josue and Ivy (who i lived with in Timbauba) moving to Carpina–and working closely with the band here, Raul moving to Sao Paulo, Aniha’s mother doing better after her 4th heart surgery, Silvio being engaged, various people joining or straying from the church…

and the school starts MONDAY. a little daunting. okay…A LOT. 32 students. Preschool through 5th grade. My schedule starts at 7:15am and ends at 4:00pm with Monday-Friday, Wednesday afternoons off. first day jitters don’t cover it…feeling like i don’t know what to do–because i REALLY  DON’T.

Since Tele’s house still has alot of little stuff to finish up, they are half-way packed, living at the Alcance. i am rooming with Karine and Alyssa, consequently kicking Alyssa out of the bed (like in 2004) and she doesn’t hate me yet. i can’t believe how much stuff i have accumulated and left and brought to Brasil. STUFF OUT THE WAZOO. stuff is so…insignificant here. and i feel like the overstuffed American once again.

Thank you for your prayers. i am here safe and sound and already have a red nose from being out in the sun for 15 minutes. please pray for the anniversary celebration this weekend, the missions conference coming up, the start of the school, and all the projects and people and…Brasil.

halftime. do i really want to watch Prince?

Dave gave me his seat because i was the only girl to “brave the football room”:). Dave just spent a month at Key West. i asked him about it, but he couldn’t remember anything except that he cooked alot (and got drunk in between). He also told me about the “rainbow family” hippy gathering that culminates on Valentine’s day.

This other guy, a Christian that i had a really good “God talk” with, told us about this place in Hawaii (located near Brigim Young) where he stayed for 5$ a night, camping on the beach. they even had hot showers. not only that, but there was a horse farm across the way who needed experienced riders to ride their horses on the off season. So…free horseback riding all day in the mountains…sleep under the stars. i think i have my next trip planned.

Dick has been traveling the US since 1991. He told me about showers at truck stops and finding state parks to take free showers in.

Rainy day. all day. by 11:30 i decided that i’d go out, even with the rain. i only have today. so i put a garbage bag over me and my backpack and caught the bus to Key Largo. i met Eugene, the bus driver who used to run gulf courses but retired until he got tired of retiredness and now drives a bus. Since it was just us, i kept him company and he gave me a free round trip–so i got pretty far down the Keys. The Keys were rather disappointing. just stores and hotels and stuff…with one big perk–you could see the ocean from both sides of the road. I invited Eugene to our superbowl party and he was like “well, i’d be the only black man there” which made me laugh because there are people from all over the world–Holland, Germany, Australia, England, Sweden…

Eugene said as i left “girl, you got a southern accent…if you called me i’d sware you were black.”

I finally stopped in Key Largo and walked around the John Pennycamp state park. I saw the mangroves, which i thought were mandrakes and had visions of those screaming things on Harry Potter. Mangroves are those trees with big roots that thrive in salt water. learn something new every day. As i was waiting for the return bus i stopped in a souvenir store to dry off and read “How to quit your job and live in Key West” the owner was really nice about me not buying anything. After waiting ten minutes outside, the rain got really bad. i was holding on to my trashbag with a death grip. THe owner then came out and gave me an umbrella.

KINDNESS.

it makes the world go round.

Key Largo…the Mangroves…to which suddenly reminded me of Pocahauntas (sp?) and i began singing “Just around the river bend…” at the top of my lungs, in the rain…alone.

God: the flower is for you

me: Thank you. i don’t want to pick it. i want to let it live.

God: it is going to die

me: then why did it live?

God: to be beautiful to you

me: i am going to die–why do i live?

God: to be beautiful to me

I was worried after an hour of biking and i hadn’t found the welcome station. actually, i was worried when it took me ten minutes to figure out the bike lock. perhaps backpack biking all day wasn’t a good idea. worry and adventure seem to mix in a weird way. they meet and bring the other…

he offered me a bicycle basket. it was white and really girly, kiddy looking. i think i had one once. i shoulda taken it. instead, after my shoulders got tired, i learned to balance my backpack on the handlebars. not really safe. SAFE? Bike helmets and insurance are planning to get hurt. i am planning on enjoying myself.

why watch scary movies when you have reality? i’ve seen one scary movie. when i was 18. Lake placid. and haven’t really been able to swim in a lake since. (it also involves a HUGE aligator) today i was walking and realized the bumps in the water were not logs. it would eye me, glide through the water towards me–never blinking (do they ever blink?) and disappear with a splash to who knows where and pop up somewhere else. there are like 15 of them (aligators) that i can see, and my imagination is filling in the rest of them. bubbles and ripples are all over the pond. AND PEOPLE WANT TO CANOE IN THIS? they pay MONEY to do that.

i really really wished i’d read a survival guide. “What to do if attacked by an aligator” or “what to do if you fall in aligator infested water”…the trail is on stilts, but what if it breaks? what if an aligator has rabies or something and goes crazy, moving the 5 feet (SERIOUSLY) between us in .03 seconds? it is too overgrown to see in places…and that was a big (aligator sized) splash.

A day in the wild. me, bike, backpack, and a beefstick.

sometimes you have to get to the middle of nowhere. Sometimes that takes a very long time. sometimes you need the wind on your face, the sun on your back, and the rain spashing cool water on your forehead. sometimes you need a road that doesn’t go anywhere.

and i found the hidden lake. you just HAVE to look for something that is called “HIDDEN LAKE.”

Meet Ed. his friends George and Harry are in the background if you can find them

The beauty

Hidden Lake. ahhh.i only passed a couple “no public access” signs to get there…

“We are men. We are men.” –from the movie “Glory”

What do you BURN for?

“there is something worse than dying young–it is dying with no purpose.” Joan of Arc

My friend from Taiwan went diving today. i couldn’t understand her English so she drew me pictures of all the fish and stuff she saw today. My friend from Conneticut got a personal tour of some guy’s world renown orchid collection. and i went bike riding in the Everglades.

What i love about a hostel is putting my stuff down and not worrying about it getting stolen. taking a ride without wondering about being kidnapped. Being open for friendly conversations. Not knowing what is going to happen that day and delighting fully in the fact that nothing HAS to happen. i took off my watch–why eat at mealtimes? why not when i am hungry instead? Why not hop a bus somewhere new? why not turn off my MP3 player and start an interesting conversation? things are constantly happening and i can say yes or no. i can join or decline.

Evian, one of the hostel owners, was telling me the difference between travelers and tourists. Travelers NEVER make reservations. (or carry pancake recipes) they live day to day. He told me about “day work” where he’d go down to the boats (at Ft.Lauderdale) and they’d hire you for the day. you’d get trained right there. he got picked to be trained for engineering, lucky ducky. how amazing is that? just go somewhere, start working, if you like it stay, if you don’t, you leave.

I love learning how to meet new people. to ask questions. to come into a conversation knowing that the person knows things that i don’t and i want to learn. They’ve been places and seen things, loved, hated, and lived. I really like trying to find the right questions to unlock them past “Hi, how are you?” like for the bus driver, all i did was say “how long have you been driving?” and i learned about the whole system and how bus drivers make 70,000 a year. that may just become my next goal. that’s good money.

The front door. normally only used by new comers. tons of other doors are located tons of other places:)

Just finished washing dishes. Memo (an artist from ?) asked me if i wanted to help, and strangely enough, i did. we ended up washing the dishes for almost everyone at the hostel. if you want to see the amazing place i am at, go to www.evergladeshostel.com i think. my spelling is off.

i found some noodles on the “free food” shelf and so made myself some herb noodle stuff (the one consistent thing i am good at making). fun. free.

“She said i should take care of the pain i am feeling the same way i should take care of the scrape on my knee, she said give it air, and sun, and don’t pick at it–let it heal. so i shall imitate my knee. the scar on my knee will become part of my story. a memory of the feelings of falling on the ground–and falling in love” –Sabrina Ward Harrison

I have finally figured it out. after all the times of people asking me about Brasil and why i go…it is love. i normally list a couple of superficial reasons like palm trees and Maracuja, but i know it isn’t that. i could get that better in Tahiti, right Lesley? it is love. like when you love someone and someone asks why. you may say because he makes me smile or because he flosses, but those aren’t really why you love him. You can’t explain why you do. it seems unscientific and sometimes very stupid. but you do. and that is enough. i love Brasil. i just know. that’s why. it is part of me that was made to fit there and nowhere else. sometimes you don’t get what you love…but for now, it calls me and i go–with the smile of God.

in the garden at the hostel…right next to the hammock that i fell asleep in

The front desk

i woke up sweating. because of the heat. only 87 degrees when i flew into Miami. only.

One roommate, from Taiwan, was putting on lotion. the older lady from Connecticut was already downstairs eating papaya. The girl from Australia was sprawled out on the top bunk, as was the girl from England. dunno when they came in. sometime after midnight. and i am not in Indianapolis anymore.

I walked down to the free “make your own pancakes” place. unfortunately, i haven’t made my own pancakes in years. Mom was going to give me a recipe, but i said i was going on adventures, and adventurers cannot carry pancake recipes. or any kind of recipes for that matter. so i didn’t. turns out it is just adding some water to a mix anyways. nice. i made two. only burnt myself once. and my roommate from Taiwan (darn i can’t pronounce or spell her name) just made them for the first time too.

i ate the first one, and feel stuffed and will have to hide the second one somewhere. i feel guilty throwing it away.

off to the Everglades. with God.