A choice when i was 7
after i made a phone call
i asked my parents what it meant
and asked Jesus to save me

it didn’t feel like a big deal
at the time
but nothing ever does
does it?
nothing ever does

a choice when i was 15
to help at VBS
with children who didn’t have much
but stole my heart

a choice when i was 16
sitting on the sidewalk steps
i felt so out of place and different
and told Jesus that was alright

it didn’t feel like a big deal
at the time
but nothing ever does
does it?
nothing ever does

a choice when i was 16
to go to Brasil
two weeks of drama
teaching basketball and serving

a choice when i was 18
after seeing someone live the life
to make a commitment to connect
with the God who owned my life–daily

it didn’t feel like a big deal
at the time
but nothing ever does
does it?
nothing ever does

a choice when i was 23
to live with arms wide open
to have my heart broken
rather than try to protect myself again

it didn’t feel like a big deal
at the time
but nothing ever does
does it?
nothing ever does

what choices am i making now
that are changing the future
forever
what are the moments
that will be frozen
into eternity?

my name is “Msquachel.” the Brasilian version of “Ms.Rachel.”

We had our first teacher meeting yesterday. one of the teachers brought up that one of the kids was carrying around a bottle of cologne. It was decided that it was my fault. Guilherme (pronounced gill-hu-el-me…or something close) came up to me one day smelling really good and i told him so. The next day he came (he is rather short) and told me to smell his head (it is this thing called a “cherio”). it smelled good and i said so. the next day he started carrying around cologne and spraying it everywhere before he saw me, and then commanding me to smell his head…

Please pray for Fernanda–one of the teachers at the school. She is getting some medical tests done…and the whole “i don’t know what i have” stuff is scary. and hard.

sometimes i wonder why i couldn’ta just chosen the easy life…but then i remember…it is because i chose the good life.

the most interesting moment of the week was finding my soap at the bottom of the toilet in my classroom. my Portuguese is not good enough to figure out just how it got there…

How quickly we take advantage of time and think we have forever. When time goes slowly, we slip into a rut of doing anything to make it pass. Forgetting that all moments are a gift–not just the ones that we are doing what we want or what we love or what we desire.

Rachel: do you ever get tired of all this?
God: yes
Rachel: and then what do you do?
God: I love
Rachel: why love?
God: because love is the greatest–and i am the greatest
Rachel: why is it the greatest?
God: because i made it that way. i chose it to be.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 Paraphrased by me
“I have this treasure–secret, power of God, His very presence, intimate relationship–stored in this jar of clay called my body–to show that i is all about God and not me *because how clearly it cannot be me*. Me? i am pressed in on every side, i feel stifled–but not crushed. i feel confused and i don’t have the answers–but  still have hope, not despair. it is not easy, but i am not abandoned, i fall, but i am not destroyed.”

I am teaching English I for the seminary. keeping attendence, giving a midterm and final test and everything. nice. Carlos asked me yesterday “If the word is ‘toothbrush’, if i have two of them, are they called ‘teethbrush?’”

it made me think. and laugh. it does make sense…

i think learning is based on a couple seconds of actually opening your brain and understanding what you learned. then taking hours and a lifetime to really use and apply it. i sat down tonight and studied Portuguese and actually got somewhere. i couldn’t force it–it was just the right time. Now i’ll spend the next couple months trying to use all the grammer i know. bleh.

we are working on putting together a newsletter about Brasil. This is what Heather wrote about the school (and a neat story i wanted to share with you)

“The
school has just started its second school year in February.  We have a
total of 36 kids enrolled. We are still harvesting the results from last year’s
hard work…Felipe, who came to our school after being “invited to
leave” from a neighbouring town school because of aggressive behaviour has
become the “protector” of a very shy and scared new kid in the
class.. No one dares to mess with him…he’s as strong as an ox and as gentle as
a teddy bear.. His mother came to pick him up yesterday.  She’s moving to
town to be close to the school and she was in tears as she thanked me for the
change the school had made in her son’s life…he turned a new leaf… but we all
know that Jesus is the one who made the difference in his heart!  Isn’t it
wonderful? Praise the Lord! Please pray for him and his catholic mother,
Michelle and aunt Ednalda ,who is our new geography teacher, one of the 3
non-born-again Christians in our staff, and who are very open to the gospel. 

All
the kids, and even the parents are excited about the new enlarged school (we
are now teaching K3-5^th grade).  The new playground was a BIG
hit. Kenny Smith, a custom cabinet maker from Kansas made a gorgeous wood
playground Fort, which was enlarged with a castle keep with slides and
sandbox; and Heather’s father (a retired Salvation Army missionary) painted
English toy soldiers as sentries at the Castle gate. 

One
father was so excited about the school that he really wanted to help remodel
the building and paid this year’s and NEXT YEAR’S tuition in advance to buy new
(safer)flooring for the entrance, meeting hall, library, dining room and
hallways. Other changes are in progress, turning more of the rooms into
classrooms, and putting up a gate around the front of the Alcance, including
security cameras.”

Another good story is Heitor, who came to school today with his coveted 3 merits. he’s been having a lot of demerits lately. So he came and gave his merits to Tele and asked “Sir, i am giving these back to you–can i have a fresh start?”

Thank God for fresh starts.

Words are worth so little
and yet they are all i have
to try to explain
what i want my life to say
to mean
to count for…

i bought a coconut. and sipped my coconut while walking around town. but i didn’t look all “native” because no one in Brasil does that. because walking around with a coconut is rather heavy. oh well.

i went to the feira (open air market thingy that reminds me of those pictures in India and stuff…smells and all) and talked my way into only paying 12$R for some shoes. actually, it was pretty sad. the whole time i was thinking “this is a third world country. she needs this money more than i do. and i am trying to get these cheaper? why?” so i felt guilty. grrr. then i bought this thing wrapped in a corn husk and ate it just because i had never eaten it before. actually, it wasn’t that good. rather gross. well, you can’t win every time. i brought it back to the Alcance to ask Karine what it was to make sure i wasn’t being poisoned or something. but no, i am still alive.

i’ve been here a month.

i’ve learned that i am looking for a place. that is quiet. beautiful. alone, empty. where i can’t hurt anyone and no one can hurt me.a place where i can go when i am tired. a place of rest.

i’ve learned i am looking for a person. someone who wants to sit down and listen to my day. whose face lights up when i come in the room. who sees the little extra things i do and says “hey girl, that’s good.” who sees my mistakes and hugs me and says “hey girl, that’s okay.”

i am learning that that person is God. the place is somewhere with Him (until heaven). He’s enough. so i am learning again. and again. and i will still be learning tomorrow.

i’ve been staring at the stars alot lately. there was a lunar eclips the other day. red moon. sweet.

Last week i decided to teach the kids the alphabet. i didn’t realize that kids in Brasil learn how to write cursive. most of them don’t even know printing at all. so what i planned for as teaching 26 things turned into teaching them the whole mechanics of writing and so on and so forth…what is funny is that they will never forget the letter “x”. because of x-men. they mumble through the whole alphabet and then come to x and all the guys get excited and say “X!” in their power positions, imagining they are wolverine or something…

my goal for this month is to talk to more strangers. yep.

The International School’s first field trip!

Loading in combies and having fun…i am so glad there aren’t CAR SEAT rules!

The trip was to an orchard…it was beautiful. The guy (on the right) was so nice…and called everyone “pessoinha” (meaning “little person”).

Neto and Gabriel…with the rest coming…we found an azeitona tree…these dark purple fruit thingys..so good. then the “pessoinha” guy climbed up and got us some more.

our amazing park. what i love most about this is the little girl (Maria Edwarda) posing on the right side in her little white skirt.

The park from the opposite side. The second week of school…amazing. 

If i wake up and everything changes
if the world ends, if someone dies
if my life flashes before my eyes

where will i run to
where will i stay
where will you find me
at the end of the day

what will i say
where will i hide
what will i prove
i was trusting inside

If i wake up and nothing changes
if the world goes on and i have to wait
life is simply a challenge to cooperate

what will i say
where will i hide
what will i prove
i was trusting inside

where will i rest
where will i stay
where will you find me
at the end of the day