Month: March 2008

  • I read a
    book about street kids in Recife.
    If you want to understand more about the culture and things in general in
    northeast Brasil, I would totally recommend the book “At Home in the Street” by
    Tobias Hecht. I got his book through weird connections…while he was in Recife, he went out with
    my friend’s sister. So she recommended it. Good stuff. It feels really…personal.
    I guess because I am here. Now. Seeing this in front of me.

    Most of the
    street kids are not really that young—many are in their 20s. And all those
    numbers you see on television are totally overrated. In his study, there were
    offically about 300 street kids in Recife.
    If you apply that to all major cities in Brasil, at most you would have closer
    to 5000 kids, rather than the 7 million or so that UNICEF and many people
    broadcast.  

    But what is
    true is all the children you see. Every time I ride around Recife, I see children my brother’s age,
    stick their hands in the windows, asking for money. Or washing your windshild. Or
    putting a little flower under your windshild wiper. That one got me. Most of
    these children are not street children—they are children of the favelas
    (ghettos).

    The book
    puts children in three groups—Nurtured childhood children (where they are
    nurtured and cared for and valued for nothing they do, but simply being the
    child), nuturing childhood child (where they are needed and go out and work. They
    bring home money or take care of other children and are valued for how they
    help the family. They don’t have a childhood as we westerners see it—they are
    busy nurturing others), and street children.  

    Most poor
    families could not survive without the added income their children bring in
    from begging, selling things on the street, or petty theft. And so…they are
    present everywhere.

    Street
    children are mostly the nutureing childhood children who have left home because
    they were kicked out, there was no room, or it was just easier. Consider—spending
    all day begging to then have to catch a bus, come home hungry, and give the
    money to your mother who tries to provide for you and seven others, but you are
    still hungry. If they sleep on the street, they don’t have to catch the bus,
    and normally, they have enough to feed themselves. Street children are
    characterized by their lack of bond to their mother (or mother figure…grandmother,
    neighbor…basically, their roots).  

    Nuturing
    childhood children look down on street kids. If a street kid tries to go back
    home, often they are shoved back out for “abandoning” and choosing the bad
    life. And on the street, there is no one to tell them what to do. It is hard to
    go back to getting put down after you’ve been your own boss. So they get used
    to the street.

    Those on
    the street normally feel sorry for themselves, but at the same time, they feel
    guilty. They know they don’t deserve the police brutality and constant violence—so
    they get angry. But then they feel guilty for choosing “this life” (as they
    call it) and look at themselves as less than human (I saw this when the child
    from Living Stones cried and said “I cannot believe you would want to be seen
    with me in public!”). so they push down their guilt until they explode in anger
    which makes more guilt.  

    I don´t
    know if you have heard of the death squads, but it has made Brasilian
    headlines. Tobias studies this and found that while there is a lot of talk
    about people being paid to kill street kids, most all the violence happens from
    the kids to each other…like gangs and retaliation. But police brutality is a
    reality…hanging the children upside down and dripping water…or worse…down their
    noses.

    So what do
    we do about it? There are a lot of agencies and people trying to help street
    children. they are photographed and used to raise money by MANY organizations. but for the kids, they see these people as people who get them what
    they want. They come, take what they want from the institutions, and go. And what about the children who do go home–they are looked over. And
    what is the goal of these places? To make them normal citizens? To give them a
    proper childhood? To get them off the street? To “cure” the problem?

    They are
    not a problem to be solved.  

    The numbers
    and statistics in the end are rather depressing. Very few are lastingly ‘reformed’
    or whatever the goal is…I guess…removed from the street into a middle class
    lifestyle? And about 90% do not live into adulthood. The author says what the
    children need is that motherhood connection. Something that drives them to go
    home at night and work together instead of taking the easy way of being on
    their own and living for the moment. I know what they need…a connection with
    God.

    Amar e
    viver, viver e ser real
    realidade e ser infeliz
    e felizidade e querer morrer
    a morte e fim de tudo
    mas a vida e tao bonita e bela pra quem sabe viver
    e uma coisa que eu nao sei fazer
    por isso devo sofrer ate morrer
    acabar com tudo
    esquecer o mundo e nunca mais chorar

    to love is to live, to live is to be real
    reality is to be unhappy
    and happiness is to want to die
    death is the end of everything
    but life is beauitful
    for those who know how to live
    something i know not how to do
    so i suffer and then i’ll die
    forget the world and never again cry

    –writen
    by a street child in Recife


  • This is 3rd-9th grade…not even the whole school. we have grown a bit. grin.



    You said you’d light a candle
    And you’d say a prayer for me
    I feel the light has dimmed and gone
    Half the world is begging
    While the other half steals
    Where did everything go wrong?

    Some days I can’t believe
    Others, I’m on my knees
    Trying to be heard

    I was your anger
    And you were my fear
    Now that it’s over
    Of course it’s so clear
    But you were no angel
    And I was no sin
    Somehow I can’t let it go
    I can’t let it go

    And half the world is sleeping
    While the other half dreams
    You close your eyes
    And then you’re gone
    And maybe my intentions
    Have been misunderstood
    I know you feel so beautifully wronged

    Some days I can’t believe
    Others, I’m on my knees
    Hoping I belong

    And laughter is my soul’s release
    But we’re not smiling anymore
    And can’t we try to win this peace?
    ‘Cause we’re never gonna win
    Never gonna win this war –Goo Goo Dolls


    Please pray for Marcello’s grandmother. unfortunately, i have forgotten her name. but she is such a daring, sweet lady. She had a stroke or something two Saturdays ago, and has just gotten worse since then. Last weekend they took her to the ICU in Recife. There is not much hope left. please God, not her too.


  • zoom in on the group picture, which wasn’t going so well anyways.


    me with some of my boys at McDonalds: Igor, Lucas, Daniel, Guilherme, and Felipe. i am never ever buying a Big Mac. bad bad bad. also never using bus toilets. bad bad bad.


    so this is the museum place we went to for our field trip. it was amazing–like a castle–and i forgot the name of it.


    This is me and Eduarda.


    Don’t they look like little angels, listening to the tour guide man? actually…they really did do well.


    5th, 6th, and 9th graders.

  • Ses-TINA

    For homework, i had to write a
    Sestina, a six six-line stanza poem, where the last six words are repeated in each
    stanza. Then, at the end (called an envoy) you have three lines that include
    those same six words.  

    I told myself to go to bed

    It would soon all go away

    In fact, everything was just in my
    head

    And there was no reason to fear

    You cannot hide from reality

    For eventually it will all come true

     

    Why can’t I face my reality?

    Covering it’s eyes, it won’t come
    true

    But it waits in silence under my bed

    Counting the minutes for light to
    fade away

    My sister says to face my fear

    My brother says it is all in my head

     

    I am drifting farther, floating away

    The sea tossing, my boat is my bed

    Dancing toward me in a pink dress—my
    reality

    Fantacy is folly, and folly is true

    But only until midnight, exploding
    my fear

    The pounding clock banging in my
    head

     

    I lay it to rest, in a moment that
    is true

    Standing at attention, not vertical
    on my bed

    A moment of forgetfulness plays
    games in my head

    That makes all success slowly slip
    away

    But I will fight my fear

    Even in the face of cold reality

     

    Of all the lies I’ve said, they all
    began in my head

    Desending to my feet and curled up
    on my bed

    They cover me as a sheet of fear

    So near they echo my reality

    And refuse to go away

    Until you sit beside me and whisper
    what is true

     

    If there is really nothing to fear

    Tell me why you are lying here on my
    bed

    Tell me why you cringe at reality

    And don’t want to read the news that
    is true

    You just can’t get completely away

    For it will always sneak back into
    your head

     

    I only fear reality when it is true

    When I climb in bed and you are away

    And all that is left is me and my
    head

  • I have to sit
    and see
    the beauty
    standing is not
    satisfactory

    a conscience choice
    must be made
    to see what
    is sincerely said

    as i let
    the firery beauty
    enchant my eyes
    and burn me

    finding my finger
    over the lucid light
    until i cannot stand
    a moment more of fight

    i see past
    the piercing pain
    into a night of darkness
    dawning bright against
    the flame

    it was just a candle
    that i chose to lit
    folding a chair in front
    and finding a place
    to sit

    but it poured
    into a pain
    i refused to give voice to
    grieving for a past
    and a future
    i never knew

    one by one
    i blow them out

  • i still haven’t gotten my hands on current data, but from 1995 statistics of Recife:

    public school–31% failed 1st grade. 22% dropped out, leaving only 47% that went on to second grade
    Only 28% of children aged 10-17 completed four or more years of school.

    infant mortality rate–74 per 1,000 live births

    of 100 major cities rated in living conditions…Recife was 96th. (in being worst)

    Murders–47.6 per 100,000 (compared to 3.3 in Chili and 0.7 in England)


  • and then the highlight of my weekend was this little guy–er, girl…

    after the rains here, large female ants called tanajura set out in flight to begin a new nest. unfortunately, Brasilian children come out in droves with dishtowels, swapping them out of the air and then eating them. i was lucky enough to get it fried, although some like it raw. i also chose to have it headless and legless…

    and after all this time of saying i was gonna eat one…i couldn’t get out of it any longer and i chewed and swallowed.

    it wasn’t that bad. crunchy and empty–sorta like pork rinds.


  • Junior´s surprise party…lotsa peeps from Paudalho: L to R: Maniho, Junior, Tia Dione, Aninha, Nal, Rebeca, a couple of unidentified faces, Fernanda, Maninho, Raquel, Googoo, and Joelson.


    For a special project at school, we are doing the play of “Little Red Riding Hood” as written by us. these are the masks (hiding their dialog on the other side)


    Rafael…this one’s for you, Carina!


    my little buddy Fransico. i walk around saying “hell-O Fran-sis-CO” it is fun. he was very proud of his Easter basket and wanted to show you.


    The fun stuff–treasure hunt


    complete with treasure maps


    For Easter break we went to the beach. L to R: Victoria, Rebeca, Junior, Felipe, and Lucas


    Koos-koos and sittin around the beach house…


    This is a mud hole. in Portuguese it is called “banho de lama” or bath of clayish earth. we managed to get this mud stuff just the right consistency…about like cake batter mix.


    i think we were dancing


    hey…i wouldn’t mess with us if i were you…


    First one in gets covered in clorine! L to R: Nal, Rebeca, Fernanda, Lucas, Victoria, Gaby, and Isabela

  • Projects

    Ivana asked the kids to tell what the first word was they thought of when they heard “Easter.” the hands went up, and kid after kid said “Chocolate.” finally, one tried to do alittle better…Eduarda raised her hand and said “Chocolate…but mixed with Jesus!”

    good try darlin’.

    you put enough Barbecue sauce on anything and it tastes good. trust me. i know.

    At Living stones they had a special Easter program this morning. The ladies bought two huge crates of grapes and set them up with tables all nice and fancy. They called the children in, with all the grapes, and had a service and singing. Then they told the Easter story and Passover and the New Covenant, and gave the kids bread and grape juice. Then they told them they could eat the grapes.

    let a couple of things stand out about this: some of these kids had never eaten grapes before. Grapes are common here, but more expensive than other fruit. not much, but enough to make a difference in these families. and get this–not one kid touched one grape the whole time, until they were told they could eat.

    some workers from other programs were there, one man (who is not a Christian) said “the hand of God must be upon these children.” Some of the others commented on their good behavior too, actually outright surprised that the children could change and have good manners. I asked Patricia why those people would even work with children if they didn’t believe they could change…she said it was because it was a job. and in Brasil it is hard to get a job. so if you can get a job, any job, get it…whether or not you actually like kids, or believe they can change or learn something.

    i wonder if the kids at your church–well behaved ones at that–would have enough self-control to wait to eat grapes sitting in front of them. fruit they had never tasted before. Let alone kids who probably did not have breakfast before they came, and were taught no manners at home. Patricia started to tell me “well, this is such a small step to what they need…” and i stopped her with a “No. That is no step at all. that is something to celebrate!”

    So i asked about specific projects. and we got excited dreaming away.

    * a garden. for the children to plant and take care of. and eat from. the land is there, but the neighbors let their goats and chickens run free over it. we would need to fence off either a small area for it ($700US) or all of it ($1700US) and then get seeds and stuff. but how perfect would that be? that is even teaching vocational skills!

    * a library. They showed me their current library…a stack of books and magazines a foot high. These were the combined children’s books of the three women that worked there. Books are expensive in Brasil. a good childrens book is $10-20US. They don’t have any CDs, because they don’t have a CD player. They have a borrowed TV and DVD, and so occasionally rent videos for a special activity with the kids. As far as help from the US, books, CDs, and DVDs in English won’t be much help. The DVDs are a different region and don’t play, and the kids are not ready to learn English, when they can’t read in Portuguese yet. But books without words would be good–or fun things like “where’s Waldo?” that doesn’t need words…

    * Family/Mother’s ministry. For May, which has Mother’s day, they are focusing on family relationships with the children. They would also like to do a special “tea” or something, and invite all the children’s mothers. how beautiful! Think of the ministry–well over a hundred families can be reached! How nice would it be to be able to give these mother’s something special (i would love it if someone felt lead to give perfume or lotion to these women…because i know some have never had it…although it is much more practical to remember how quickly tummies need food, and how a food basket would help out more) DANG IT! you start dreaming about things and then you realize JUST HOW BIG the needs are. but i still like the lotion idea. even if it is impractical.

    * Games. Lotsa games. i would love to get dutch blitz. i played it once and it was so fun but cannot seem to find it sold anywhere. Chess. Checkers. Connect 4. Uno–THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH UNO (but i only have one set so i bring it with me when i can…and Lindsay brought a mini-version they use all the time). Candyland. Any game that does not require English skills (or that i can translate for them) Chutes and ladders. Mancala.

    * Art supplies. that basically says it for you. they have these available here, but then the mulah to purchase it…

    * hygiene items…they said MOST important is toothbrushes and hairbrushes–they’d love to have a toothbrush for each kid that could stay there so the kids could brush their teeth (and learn how) once a day. because at home it ain’t happening. And hairbrushes are EXPENSIVE in Brasil. who knows why, but they are. and lice LOVE hair that never gets brushed. so yeah…150 toothbrushes and hairbrushes please. soap, toothpaste…all that too, but most important would be the brushes. for teeth and hair.

    * Educational stuff. The ABCs are the same in Portuguese (basically) and numbers are universal…so books with practicing writing the alphabet (not with phonics or anything, because apple does not start with A in Portuguese…it starts with “M.” ), math flashcards–things like magnetic alphabet…all this is lovely.

    *Towels, sheets, and clothing items. yeah. those are nice to have.

    * Computer/computer games/playstation/video games…Patricia told me alittle about the story of Marcio Patricio. He is 14, and singled out as the HARDEST CHILD YET to have in the program. he is full of hate. fights all the time. pulls away if you try to touch him. won’t look at you or listen. had outbursts during prayer, yelling “if God is so good, why did He let me suffer like this?” He does not participate. he is there for the food and leaves. but awhile ago, he came early, and Patricia was in the Pastor’s office, working, and let him try out a game on the computer. maybe it was the individual time she gave him, mixed with the privilege of doing something new…but whatever it was…she saw him open up. With only having three workers, it was not possible to do this often, but she managed to spend time with him and the computer three different times. (then the pastor asked the children not come in the office because things were being torn up…so that was the end of that) Marcio is still fighting. still so full of anger it scares the workers sometimes. but they have established a relationship. And he even receives hugs. Patricia said he just sorta leans into it like a dog when you scratch him behind his ear and then start to move away. I want Marcio to get to play on the computer. (and i am not even big on video games…but i know it would be something so special for these kids. i saw their faces when they got to play those car driving games at the mall…Meu Deus no ceu!)

    * and they have so many other ideas. what is so neat is that they already have the connections–it is just getting the resources to connect them. For example…the government has a milk program-giving milk to needy families. But there is only one distribution center in the whole city. they can’t get to it. And the government won’t pay anyone to distribute it–it has to be volunteers. Patricia said they have everything they need to become a distribution center, they just need to fill out the right paperwork and be registered and and and…

    * playground. How great would it be for these kids to have a playground? ahhhh! pictures can’t really describe it…let me try. The church is across from the cemetery on a hill. There is two buildings: the square church building (about half the size of a basketball court), and then the house-like building with a small porch, pastor’s office, two classroom, two bathrooms, and kitchen. Outside there is some flat land (for the garden) and lots of different fruit trees, and then a steep incline. This is everything–church, counseling area, eating area, worshipping area, activities area, area for children, for youth…oh yeah, and in Brasilian weather, to cool down 150 or so people/kids–we have five fans. five small fans. 

    oh dear. i think in my zeal i may have sunk into complaining. Please don’t take it that way. this is how things are. i am stating uncolored facts. facts i am still learning about. this does not mean things are horrible. no, i love this church. i love even that my shirt sticks to my back the whole service–i really do. but i want you to know there are needs–needs that can be met by us, their brothers and sisters in the US.

    so here are some of them–the dreams and wishes. and tomorrow will come and go just the same whether we have a projector or a playground or a garden. These are opportunities, and i wanted to share them with you. because it would be wrong to keep silent. but don’t think you have to give. and don’t feel guilty if you don’t–that is not how it works. somewhere, i have to believe that for ever need, there is someone who is called to meet that need–someone, who in fact, NEEDS to meet that need to be complete themselves. so don’t take the need of someone else. grin.

    how to give? uggg. to tell the truth, the easy way really is to give money. i know…what a cop out. for things like a fence or Portuguese books or educational games…you cannot bring those from the US. The problem with sending books or toothbrushes or anything in the mail is that it costs about $25 per book in postage. trust me, i have done it (actually, my mom and dad did for me…). so giving money, i can buy toothbrushes here for $1US. And in giving money, the best way is send it to World Renewal for me or for Tele, or specifically labeled, if you have a heart for a specific project. please–talk to me about questions and stuff.

    although there is another option. There is a ministry team coming in July. You can go on the trip and bring these things yourself. bring clothes that you can leave. towels and sheets and colored pencils and so on. These people will also be bringing a suitcase just for ministry supplies. perhaps (please say yes Steve!) particular items can be sent down in their bags.

    oh, and seeds for the garden must be bought here…it is illegal to bring them from the US. opps. tried that one too.

  • i used to pray that people would find answers to their questions…

    …but i have found that answers aren’t always all they are cracked up to be. so now i pray more for other things. like world peace. heh. no, but peace in their heart. real conversations with God. understanding. 

    a lady got saved at church yesterday. Just got up during the service and told the pastor she wanted to give her life to Jesus. it was really beautiful. and simple. it always gets me how simple these things are.

    i told the kids to wear green today at school. because if not, you get pinched. the first two minutes of school erupted in pinching caos, and the teachers gave me dirty looks for introducing such a vice to the children. i then pointed out the other obvious fact that the school uniform has green in it. so no one could pinch anyone anyways. sometimes…culture just doesn’t pass well into another culture. so much for being Irish.

    Some facts about PETI, also known as Living Stones:

    the government pays for three minimum wage workers, and then gives them 147 children to take care of in morning/afternoon programs. Most weeks, the government also gives some food…this food mostly being rice and beans. sometimes some meat. sometimes with bugs in the rice and everything past expiration date. sometimes there is no food.

    with this, they make due. there is no curriculum. there are no books. there are no supplies, no games, no plans, no anything. so if they don’t get meat one week, they have learned to make “meatballs” out of soybean products…any money to buy anything extra coming out of the minimum wage the three workers are receiving.

    Cacau, Patricia, and Mamau–the three miracle workers who pull this off, started with simple projects: respect and manners. When they started living stones, using the church property, the neighbors got together and signed a petition to make them leave. because the kids are trouble. for example…across the street from the church is a cemetery. the kids would go in and break the crosses off the tombstones. just because. so the women started teaching the basics…lesson one: don’t break the crosses off the tombstones. don’t throw rocks. and so forth. then they moved on to hygiene. like washing up. or using the toilet. they would (and still do) shower them at the church. and teach them to use the toilet because they were finding poop all over the churchyard. they asked me to come and cut hair sometime because of the lice problem. then they moved on to eating–sharing–waiting your turn. at home for these kids it is grab yours and swallow before it is taken away. now they sit and wait and even serve the others at the table. These are huge victories. even though it looks so far from what is needed. The kids are 7-16. three women trying to cover 147 children of these different ages is daunting.

    and they really are not supposed to teach them “school” things because this program is after school/supplemental/extra curricular kind of stuff. But Patricia is taking a group of six kids every afternoon and teaching them how to read. because they don’t know how. she teaches them with paper and pencils. because that is what she has and brings from home.

    I am making a list with them of things we/you/me can do to help. three P´s:

    People…they need more adults to will come and play with them. listen. build relationships.

    Prayers…just to get through each day

    Projects…and the money to be able to do things–like play a game (money to buy paper and string for kites and go to the park, Uno, Candyland, Sorry) or color a picture (paper, coloring books, markers, crayons, colored pencils)…a general budget to be able to think about a fun activity…and then put it into action (like our trip to the zoo, mall, and McDonalds…that started out as an idea from someone´s head at Circle Center, Indianapolis)…money for books–teaching phonics or math or…just anything.

    so…more ideas to come–you can bet on that.

    and something else to pray about. Community Church of Paudalho is my church. and i have been praying alot about where my place is in it. what my ministry is. and i have found it. a need i see that i really want to meet. I have always been a part of the music ministry, but the problem is, they have no projector. and hymn books or handing out papers with words do not fit in the church budget. so for most of the songs, i (and new people to the church) have no clue what is being sung. the fuzzy microphones and ducktaped together sound system doesn’t help either. Seeing the words and being able to read them is part of entering into worship for me, and something that i miss, and i know i am not alone.

    Solutions: the old-school projector they have needs 200$US of work done on it to get it working again–and then it requires someone to write out the songs on clear slides and erase them for the next week. or…like in my dreams…getting a power point projector. Jeff and Lindsay have brought down some laptops, and given me one to use. I squirm with delight just imagining if we could set it up to have the words power pointed on the wall during church!

    and wow. it is moments like this that i realize i am not in Kansas anymore. it is alittle different from stepping inside the carpeted floors and cushion benches and air conditioning of the churches i grew up in. so different…and yet the same smiles and hugs and “good to see yous.”

    so if anyone knows of a projector lying around somewhere…please let me know.
    it makes me laugh…this calling of being a “power-pointer person” or however you would say it.

    “Delight in your relationship with God. in being with Him. in learning of Him. And He will satisfy you. Those deep desires in your heart will be realized and fulfilled. Give God all your plans and ideas and decisions–trust Him with them. He will clean you until you shine with brightness of purity and He brings about the causes He has caused you to fight for. Be still and sit at His feet.”
    Psalm 37:4-7a
    paraphrased by Me