April 8, 2008
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I am trying to buy my ticket on the internet. More confusing
by the minute. Dates and prices keep changing and in the end, it is all just a
click away. Please pray. So many decisions. Mainly, returning July or
August—help with English camp and preparations, or more time with family and
earning money. The only chance I have ALL YEAR to earn money is while I am in
the US
this summer. And yet…the main reason I am home is to be with my family. And if
that time is shortened…in the end, family time is what is cut. Unless I don’t
work. Or just do odd jobs. Which might be an idea. The thing is, I want to
support myself. I like asking for things…if it is for other people. I like
connecting people. For example, someone gave a generous gift for Living Stones
after I wrote about all the needs (opportunities) to give.It wasn’t about the money. It was about the connection. I
got to be a connector. And Living Stones? The workers there feel connected—they
are amazed that someone would care, so far away, for them. And the person? I
know they are blessed by giving because that is what giving does. And that
makes me happy. I feel fulfilled. But it is something different asking for
money for myself.And, unfortunately, I need money to live here. And I cannot
work. Because I do not have the Visa, and they won’t give it to me. So I can
either work in the US
and save up until I have the money to come to Brasil, or ask. It is $150 a
month for my food, ministry, non-food, and transportation. It is another $100 a
month to go to college here (which is how I am coming at all, since I needed a
visa and am getting a student visa. So I have to be a student). With taxes and
all from the US
that takes another $100, and to save up each month to have money for a plane
ticket to come home after a year and a half, it is another $100. So that is about $500 a month that I need to ask of others. To ask at churches.
To support me coming to Brasil and teaching, living, serving in Brasil until
the end of 2009. And if that money does not come in? I will need to come back
early and work until that money is saved up.One day soon, I want to be able to get a side job in Brasil.
So I can teach, but also support myself. So that when money is needed for projects, I write
a nice long e-mail about it, and people have the opportunity to give. And I can
connect them. What is so hard about me being the one being connected? Why do I
find it so hard to receive things myself?
