April 8, 2008
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which is better:
To find and never have,
or to never find and never know?
**Ignorance is bliss
What price am I willing to pay for bliss?
Is innocence bliss too?
So I wrote this paper for my relationships class after I
took this test. The tests results said that I sometimes have doubts about
feeling loved. And that I also feel uncomfortable in giving and receiving
expressions of love and affection. Somewhere along the way in my life, I came
to the idea that I needed to DO things to be loved. This was never something
taught or spoken to me directly or indirectly. But throughout my life, I found
myself constantly stressing to keep up, and maintain what I am doing for others
and investing in relationships. It was a pressure because I felt that if I
stopped, they would not care for me anymore.I also realized that this is how I
treat others. I like them (often) based on how I respect them. I respect them
based on what they do. So in the end…I like them because of what they do, not
for who they are. But I am learning to like people for who they are, and
respect them because they are human, just like me. They have made mistakes and
will make them again. They have done wonderful things and will do more—but that
does not rule their lives. And the same is true for me. I need to accept that I
am liked and loved for who I am, and that will not change if I leave or am
absent or mess up or freak out. Then i will be able to love like that too.
