May 15, 2008
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have gotten to hang out with an exceptionally large amount of people lately. nice. this “social” stuff might just be a good thing. maybe.
got this weird letter in the mail. you know how the post office sometimes messes up mail? then they send the fragments to your house in an “apology” envelope? well, i got back this half an envelope, where it just has my name and address and a stamp from Isreal. you can tell it is foreign. on the back it says a PO Box number, and nothing else. the bottom half, and the letter is ripped off. yep. so…they thought i was a terrorist. and stole my letter, whatever it was. but whatever was it? i don’t know anyone in Isreal…
it does make like interesting.
got to teach a Bible study at the youth center. just like old times. yep. even down to the only having ten minutes part. some things are strangely comforting in how they never change.
Goin to CALIFORNIA tomorrow. just alittle happy. as i write with near frozen fingers and toes. just alittle.
read a book. one of many million i have gotten out of the (oh i love the) library.
“Our dreams are where God paints a picture of a life waiting to be created…The life that is most powerfully lived is the one that finds passionate urgency fueled by a sense of destiny. We must become. This is both something we need and something we long for…In the worst of us there’s still a desire that aspires to be the best of us. We are designed to trust, to gain trust, and to aspire to be trustworthy. Because God is true, our souls will never find rest until we are also.
(Background: so the guy’s two year old son kept climbing up the steps and didn’t know how to get down. One time he caught him half way up and told him to get down. Instead, the boy reached out his hands and said “carry me.”) I knew I needed to stand firm, so I repeated, “No, you get down.” Then it happened. I never would have expected it. He jumped. He jumped right to me. Even when I refused to carry him, he somehow concluded that I would catch him. All I did was act on instinct. When he jumped, I reached out my arms and caught him. The truth is, he knew very little about the world around him. In fact, he knew very little about me. Clearly though, he knew more than I thought. He knew if he jumped, I would catch him. He was afraid to even attempt to climb down but was more than confident to jump off. He had more confidence in me than he did in himself.
(years later, his son admitted to doubting God, and he asked him what was he going to do about questioning God: )”well, I’ve met God, so what can I do?”
Some people who do not believe in God are consistent and don’t believe in love either. In fact, my nonscientific research has found a direct correlation between losing faith in love and losing faith in God. You cannot prove God or love. The only evidence is secondary. Yet when you love someone, you are more certain of that than of almost anything else. Love reminds us that there is a knowing beyond reason. We are born to love. You can beat the love out of a person, but it’s impossible, of course, to beat it into someone. Just like faith, love is intrinsic. It’s not taught or transferred—it just is. You can’t make a person love you. Heaven knows, a lot of us have tried. There might be nothing more painful than loving someone who doesn’t love you in return. For love to exist it doesn’t even require reciprocation.
When I was just a small child, I believed in God, in love, and in laughter—and then I didn’t. I think love went first, then laughter. Then since God couldn’t help me with the first two, I went ahead and threw him out with everything else you need to get rid of when you are no longer a child…My soul doesn’t crave something from God; my soul craves God. That’s why everything else will leave you unsatisfied in the end. But don’t let this frustrate you; just let it fuel you. All the evidence you need to prove God is waiting within you to be discovered.” –Erwin Raphael McManus, Soul Cravings
“Are you a coward? This is not for you. We badly need a brave man. He must be 23 to 25 years old, in perfect health, at least six feet tall, weight about 190 pounds, fluent in English with some French, proficient with all weapons, some knowledge of engineering and mathematics. Essential, willing to travel, no family or emotional ties, indomitably courageous, and handsome in face and figure. Permanent employment, very high pay, glorious adventure, great danger. You must apply in person, 17 rue Dante, Nice 2me etage, appt.D.” –From Robert A. Heinlein’s Glory Road
“Anyway, I keep picturing all those little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around—nobody big, I mean—except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be.” –J.D.Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
“As he walks through the decayed house, his eyes are expressionless. “And my story ends there. But in fact it ended a long time ago, with Claudia’s ashes in that theater. My love died with her. I never really changed after that. What became of Lestat I have no idea. I go on, night after night. I feed on those who cross my path. But all my passion went with her yellow hair. I am a spirit with preternatural flesh. Detached. Unchangeable. Empty.” –Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire
