September 4, 2008
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“Something is broken inside me, and i don’t know how to fix it.”
“Where does it hurt?”
“Right behind my eyes. it makes my nose tingle and my throat tickle. i
swallow alot. sometimes it hurts up high almost to my neck, but then it
seems to go so low i am sure it is below my knees. it makes me take
shallow breathes.”“When did this begin?”
“Sometimes i beleive it was always there. maybe from before i was born.
and then other things happen and make it worse. or re-agitate it.”“what do you want me to do about it?”
“Make it go away. make me forget all about it. whipe everything clean
and then let me start with everything fixed. let me know that things
are right and all the wrong was just a misunderstanding.”“there is no medicine for that.”
“Then tell me what i can do.”
“you can pretend. pretend it is all fixed. if you try hard enough, you
will beleive it. you will forget the pain. it will bury deep and some
days–you will be as free as if you were fixed.”“and then what?”
“Then, sometime later in your life something will happen and you will
see you are broken again. then you have to choose what to do from
there.”“Do i have any other choices?”
“You could have surgury, but it will leave a scar.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Yes. the surgen makes no deals. He opens you up completely and you have no say on what he will do and what will happen next.”
“That doesn’t sound so good.”
“But that’s what you got.”
