January 25, 2009
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There are so many places in the world
there are so many things to do and ways to help people
there are so many good causes
sometimes i wonder if i hold on to Brasil as a security blanket “oh, i am sorry, i can’t help you because i am already doing this, this and this in Brasil” and i shoo them away…at least i shoo away the thoughts in my head.
there are hurting people everywhere. in every economic strata–the poor, the rich, the middle class–how can you choose one? just one? sex trade, disaster relief, current day slavery, poverty, starvation, digging wells, abortion, prisons, homosexuality, other religions…my gosh there are needs and ideas and programs and good people with visions…
there is more than enough need just here in my neighborhood, if i just reached out. serving at church. street evangelism, the youth center.
my heart gets yanked at every call to help and i say “i can’t possibly help them all” or that i don’t have time because i am already busy helping. and i go on.
Is life about finding my one place and then ignoring all the others? i want to find my voice. and be sure it is mine.
but will i just become another voice in so many, pulling people along for my share of their hearts?
Children are dying, they don’t have water, they don’t have food, they don’t have education. Do we understand what it means to live on a dollar a day, like 1 billion people do? or 2 dollars, like 3 billion more people live off of–more than half of the world population? have YOU ever tried it? THAT is the majority. THAT is what is normal.
not me.
Not me and my car. my nice job in a nice mall surrounded by nice people. my nice education where we talk about what is happiness. my house. my bathtub where i use lots of water. my full refrigerator that i open and stair at, wondering what to eat today. my bank account. my closet full of clothes.
But what do i want to do about it? do i want to save lies so they don’t die? do i want them to get to live on 3 dollars a day, or 4, or 5? do i want them to work their way out of being a statistic? is that my goal?
i want to help. i want to help in every way–i want them to live, i want them to live a healthy, better life…i want them to have a chance to learn and love and laugh. i want them to know Jesus and feel His love in all those lonely moments. i guess…i just want to love them. all of them.
but it is hard. it is like i have this little reserveoir of love and it runs out so quickly. ir is like i can choose such and so number of people to “bestow” my love upon, and then the rest get ignored. i just don’t have time. and God, you say to love EVERYONE.
how?
Comments (3)
You sound like you’ve got a lot going on in your head, that you need to sift through.
@JadedJanissary - yep. i call them “rants.” i normally have a least one a week.
:(
it may be difficult to ignore what is going on around u or the world but u have to be at peace so that ur intentions for helping people becomes more clear to u.
one more thing,it is impossible to help everyone at once but u can always help one person at a time .