May 7, 2009
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change
the human services class was about change. we had to answer how we can help people change. i wrote it yesterday, and decided what the heck, be honest. (even though i did change some of the wording to be more….ahem…secular)
…Personally, and on a spiritual level, I believe that lasting change only comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ. In answering the question of “How does someone help someone else to change,” I would then say that it requires relationship—of genuineness, acceptance, and understanding. I want to create a place where the person is able to grow and change as they see the need. To sum up my answer, through a relationship, I believe to help someone change you can assist them with understanding what they did, why they did it, and what they will do the next time in that situation.
The first of the three questions to answer was “Why do people change?” I found a great article by Arlene F. Harder. She says that people change because of pain (they don’t like where they are at), because they are pulled (The biological imperative to grow and enter the next phase of life, life-cycle stages, or in response to information and inspiration), or because they are pushed by someone to change (this doesn’t often lead to permanent change). I agree, and often think these things work together. In the end, I believe that people change because they realize they don’t like where they are at (whether due to pain, someone pushing them, or being pulled to that idea through teaching or natural cycles).
For the last question, “How do people change?” I found a book which was called “How to Help People Change” By Jay Adams. It is from a Christian’s perspective, and based on the Bible. I made an outline, based on his book, as well as my own thinking and ideas, which fully answers this last question of how people change.
A. Teaching (when helping someone change, this is your part. When wanting to change, you need to find someone to do this part with you): Personal involvement (genuineness, acceptance, and understanding), enthusiasm, color and vividness—clarify, make memorable, demonstrate how it may be done, encourage, and use printed and other aids, and create a place where they can grow and change.
B. Conviction (This can only be done by the person wanting to change—normally begins from pain, pull, or push): seeing that something needs to be done. That the change needs to happen.
C. Correction (When helping someone to change, you can guide this, but not force it. When wanting to change, this is a process):
1. Admitting you need help—that what you did/are doing isn’t working
2. Seeking forgiveness—making things right (if need to)
3. Forsaking the old way: willingness to say no to doing it again, breaking off the past practice, and setting up a structure that makes it hard to go back to
4. Beginning an alternative way
D: Discipline (When helping someone to change, your part would be accountability. When wanting to change this is simply continuing on in the change): doing what you know needs to be done.
–Based on “How to Help People Change” Jay Adams
