June 22, 2009
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Follow the sunset
It started when i was staying at my grandparents’ farm when i was 18. Or maybe it was earlier.
I started walking down the railroad tracks and kept walking. West. And then the sun started to set and i knew i had to turn back–but i didn’t want to.
it hurt. something in me ached so badly i felt like i was killing it when i turned around and walked back. I felt so limited. My body could only run so far before it was out of breath. And i couldn’t fly. That was always a sore spot with me.
Since then it has gotten worse.
some roads call me, taunting “you don’t know what is at the end of me” and i want to follow them. Sometimes i do. it seems that every sunrise calls me East to follow the new day. Every sunset i am called West, trying to catch the colors more brilliantly–maybe if i were just a bit closer..Whenever it is cold i am called South and whenever it is warm i want to move around until i feel the wind in my hair…
Sometimes
i forget it all. i refuse to listen to the journey. i close my eyes to the East and the West. and i forget that i want to fly.
But not today. and not tomorrow…we are going to New Mexico.
