August 29, 2009
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on the weekend, you can almost forget the week exists.
i rode my bike from Paudalho to Carpina. the chain slipped off three times. i have now decided…never to buy anything used in Brasil.
I have also decided that doing dishes is my lot in life. and so i’d better get used to doing them, and doing them right. and enjoy doing them.
still working on that.
“Out of six billion people on the planet, i choose you. and no one else. no one else gets this. no one else gets me in this specific, holy, sacred, emotional, spiritual, and physical way. Power is derived from its exclusivity. we have to be very careful what we share. because when you give it away, you no longer have it.” –Rob Bell (yes…i know the guy is controversial. but i still liked the quote)
This week i started a new phase of my life. Helping out at Living Stones at the church in Paudalho. The morning group is calmer than the afternoon–in total, about 80-90 kids come. I can’t believe how much they just need someone to touch. i watched Kung Fu Panda (In Portuguese) and the lil boy next to me started leaning. just leaning…until his head was in my lap and my arm around his shoulder. he didn’t say anything…he just wanted…to be held.
I found my boy. His name is Marconi. sideways. sorry, none of the pictures are working right today.
Marconi reminds me alot of Eugene at the Youth center. man i missed that boy. I thought Marconi was autistic, but actually he is deaf. He has never been to school, never been trained, and doesn’t know any sign language. When i first tried to say hello, he ducked and ran. he doesn’t like people to touch him…straight on. But as the afternoon wore on, he came up next to me and did the “leaning” thing. No matter what i was doing, i would suddenly feel a fuzzy head on my back. Then he would grab my arm and put it around him. and just sit there.
Marconi’s life consists of finding ways to get attention. He has figured out, through trial an error, that the quickest way to do this is by flipping people off and grabbing them when they come within reaching distance. Needless to say, this causes problems quickly. the only time he calms down is when he is sitting, leaning, with me or one of the other workers. and, if he feels lack of attention, he just randomly sticks up his finger, just so i will hold his hand and put his finger down.
My goal this week was to learn everyone’s names. I am putting together a book where each kid gets a page, and i put their picture and name on it, and then when i get to know them, will write down their stories there. Rafael, 11, just learned to write his name. Patricia taught him last week. Many of the other kids struggled, and some refused, brushing it off like it didn’t matter. but it did.
i come and say “good morning” to each of the kids, in English, and they try to repeat and everyone laughs. or they hide behind the door (espeically the older boys). The afternoon class has a harder time– saying “afternoon” is tricky. They come and ask me how to say things in English–but the most popular question of all is “Are you SURE Micheal Jackson is dead?”
i asked myself today what ministry was. and today the answer was wrapping my arms around a deaf boy and loving him. simply being there.
You know what i love in life? sitting on the cool white tile floor at 10:42pm eating fried cheese and molasses with Junior and Aninha, laughing about things that should be laughed at.
This is Glabison.
I was walking to the church and it was raining. it is the rainy season. i almost lost my sandals in the mud. He saw me and came running up and gave me his umbrella. And we walked together the rest of the way.
This is Cezar.
he is trouble. and what is worse is, i can’t discipline the goober. he turns and smiles at me and…i know he’s won. i let Cacau tell him to quit hitting/kicking/or whatever he is doing…
I feel like the dog in the car window with his head out, tongue dripping drool. oh so thirsty, but oh so happy in the delicious wind of life that blows. can’t get enough.
i feel like i am not complaining about the stuff i think isn’t right–i am doing something about it. and that feels good. i feel like…i am working to make the world i want to live in. When Marconi fell asleep in the middle of 40 screaming kids, with my arm around him…i felt an amazing sense of accomplishment. sitting there, doing nothing, watching the kids play marbles and jump rope. Doing nothing, but doing everything. i was giving peace. giving rest. He came to me, looking for something…and he found it in me. i want to be that person…the peacemaker.
My happy thoughts:
It was my birthday on Wednesday. and 27 is ever so much more old sounding than 26. but i don’t feel it, so…forget the numbers. But don’t forget this number: i got 13 cards from ze USA to open on my birthday. yesssss. and we figured out how to have my family call my cell phone (i have a cell phone now. that i actually use. mostly as an alarm clock, but still. ).
More happy thoughts:
A bunch of the kids at Living Stones made me cards as well. the pink paper reminded me of the youth center. hey–you use what you got.it was a wonderful day. full, busy, satisfying. thank you everyone…i feel loved.
