June 12, 2011
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Day 12: Cheating
Technically, I didn’t write this. I took it all from Phileena Heuertz’s book called “Pilgrimage of a Soul.” But I read the book, underlined it, thought about it, discussed it, typed it–well over 500 words. And it is what I want to share with you today. So it counts.
Awakening
“Sin takes on two primary expressions: pride and sensuality (doing what feels good), which often comes out as the evasion of self, or self-abnegation…Pride is the denial of one’s need to depend on God; self-abnegation is the knowledge of the need but refusal to depend on God. Pride can be associated with a superiority complex, self-abnegation can be associated with an inferiority complex.”
Longing
“Hiraeth, the Welsh word for more than longing. It indicates an all-consuming homesickness. It cuts to the bones, soul, and DNA of our being. It indicates a longing for where one belongs. Through longing, thin spaces that separate us from God are penetrated: we are broken and our desire for God grows.”
Darkness
“If I am not what I do, not defined by my relationships with others, who would I be if or when I emerged from this grinding? Would I be anything more than dust? To grow in intimacy with God, I had to face hidden emotional wounds and subsequent “programs for happiness” and let go of them. Without them I felt as if I had nothing, as if I was nothing. “
Death
Decisions that stand in opposition to the status quo are not for the faint-hearted; they require courage, honesty and risk. These kind of decisions release us into our destiny. Abundant life awaits each of us, but we must die to obtain it…during a season of darkness, I wrestled with God, trying to hold on to that which needed to die—my preconceived notions of who God is and who I am…It is easier to go into survival mode, rather than to do the hard work of risking trust and relationship.”
Transformation
“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” –Kahlil Gibran
“Mother Teresa’s periods of regular rest: one day a week, one week a month, one month per year, one year in every six. When one neglects giving attention to his interior life, he is not master of his house. His “programs of happiness” control him, and he goes through life unaware that his “service” is more truly frenetic activity. He is not only blind to the real needs of those he serves but to his own needs as well…Though I wasn’t able to hear God’s voice in the way I was asking for it, at that moment I heard God’s silence, and for the first time in a long time God’s silence was okay with me.”
Intimacy
“At the end of life’s journey, it doesn’t matter what he have, what we do or what others say about us. What will matter is whether or not we are known and loved for who we are, and whether or not we have known and loved our family and friends well. The spiritual journey is an invitation to know God and to be known by God, which necessitates that one finds and knows oneself. Intimacy is something that either saturates our life or leaves us craving more…When we dare to know our deepest self, with its sorrows and hopes, we encounter God who, in turn, invites us to greater enlightenment about our self and the world that we live in. We are more inclined to put our self out there to be known when we are comfortable in our own skin…we owe it to the world to create time and space for dismantling our illusions.”
“The person who never had any religious doubts during his college years probably walked around blindfolded; he who never experimented with his traditional values and ideas was probably more afraid than free…but he who did, took a risk…the risk of being alienated from his past and of becoming irritated by everything religious, even the word “God.” We can discover, with pain and frustration, that a mature religious person is very close to the agnostic, and often we have difficulty in deciding which name expresses better our state of mind: agnostic or searching believer. Perhaps they are closer than we tend to think.” Henri Nouwen
Union
“Honoring my deepest self and serving others was possible. Whereas I had formerly hidden myself (in a manner of self-sacrifice) and allowed my potential and influence to be dictated by relationships or circumstances, through the flow from my encounters of union these fragmented parts were becoming whole. Each of our lives does not look like anyone else’s. The uniqueness of our life created in the image of God is meant to shine. Our very own life is a gift to be given.”
“Silence is God’s first language, according to mystics. And in centering prayer, silence is the language of communication. For twenty to thirty minutes, two times a day, we sit in silence with God and consent to God’s present and action within us. In befriending our self, we find the One who calls us and even our enemy “Beloved.” From this centered place of union we can hope to bear witness to redemptive love and to live as cocreators with God.”
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“Picture yourself at the end of your long journey: Warming yourself at the fireplace, you watch the flames dance softly across the wall. Your pilgrimage has come to an end. You have traveled to the outer limits of your being and returned home full of a sense of worth, and a profound understanding of who you are. You turn and in the doorway stands a young pilgrim. She is so young, her eyes so bright. There is a beauty about her, an eagerness to be on her way. You wonder if this was what you were like so long ago when, staff in hand, you first stepped out on the road.”
“What can you tell me about the journey?” She asks. What dare you tell her?
“You will be met by demons and angels. You will have nights of crystal clarity and dark days of doubt. You will lose your way so many times you can’t keep count. But over and over, you will stumble upon yourself, and in the end grow to love who you are.”
