For my class on Utopia I read an article on Kibbutzim, “Utopia and its Discontents.” it describes brotherhood as passion for community, or “Communitas.” Communitas produces this passion, and is “an emotionally powerful social experience consisting of primordial and reciprocal identifications among the members of a small social group…A family-type community, between twelve and seventeen young men and women would sit together every evening after work…and exchange impressions and opinions…longing of each for his neighbor, a desire to sit together until late at night.” It made me want to board a plane to Israel right then and there.
It is what young socialists, anarchists, communists look for as well: sitting around late into the night, talking about something passionate that stirs your soul. Perhaps we are all really looking for that, because we need community. We were made for that. And the few times we truly get a taste of being with likeminded people who reflect the same glow in their eyes as we have—we treasure it.
That is why I get goose bumps when I read about the early church in Acts. Because it wasn’t what I think of when I hear the word “church.” It is much more of what I think of when I hear the word “community.” Perhaps it is just my personal learned definitions that are off. Community is finding your place. Where you can share, give, receive. Never perfection, and always someone to complain about: but a home.
The church does a great job (in general) of creating community for children and youth. Normally, they even have a pastor/minister person just for them. The family comes together and adds to this cohesion. But then college happens. And most of the time, kids find a better community with their peers at college than at church. New doors are opened, new ideas—and community looks different now—they realize it isn’t confined to a church building, it is everywhere.
I for one, felt deceived. I’d been told how the world was evil and wrong and scary. When I saw it for myself, it was beautiful and real and God glowed in and through so much of it. I didn’t want to go back to living in that little box called church again. It always felt like it was “us” or “them.”
After college a person goes on a new search. College opened many mental, physical, and emotional doors, and now even those doors are not enough. Most of the close friends from college drift away and there is a new call: career. Finding your nitch. It isn’t enough to just be interested in everything anymore—now you have to settle into something and really go at it. Your goals become more long term, with less instant gratification. Nothing is graded, but everything counts. Welcome to adulthood.
And church is still there, but it feels so small. It doesn’t feel like it can fit everything you learned from college, and your day to day race for your space in this big, wide, world. When you finally get a day off, you don’t want to spend it at church, you want to spend it with the people who inspire you, in places that excite you, and probably with good food. Most of this is not included in the package called “church.”
If you are one of the lucky ones that finds a small group of friends, a community to call your own, you probably won’t have much time left for religious events. Life is happening, and you are living it. Why have we separated the two? Here are some ideas on finding community, and bringing church back to its place as community:
1. Local. There really is something about going to a local church. Doing things together locally. Getting to know the people around you. They might seem really weird, but keep at it. There are normally some good eggs in the bunch. Remember the idea here is if you don’t see the world you want to live in—create it—be it. Don’t just drive to where the “cool” people are.
2. Food. Bonding, community, as far as I can see it, always involves food. The best conversations are those around the table. This has Biblical basis. Read about all the meals Jesus had. And there will be feasts in heaven. Bring the food back into the church!
3. Forget your age hang-ups. Ageism isn’t talked about, but is very real and alive. Get out of the box that says your community needs to be people your own age. Be diverse. It will help you a lot. Quit with all the Bible studies just with one age group: integrate.
4. People are worth it. Face it—people suck. And they will always end up hurting you one way or the other. But there is only two things that last forever in this world: the souls of men and the Word of God. So invest your life in what really matters. You will never find community (or church) until you are willing to invest much more than you will get back.
5. Family. Even the hardest and weirdest family should make up part of your community. For some reason, you were born into THAT family. Figure out why. Even if they don’t go to church.
6. Hodge-podge. Your community should be unique, and even if done right, should not be only the people from church. A mix-up of people coming and going, saved and not saved, walking in the light and hiding from the light. Hold your relationships close, but with open hands.
7. Get out there. Turn off your I-pad, I-pod, I-phone and everything else “I.” Just listen. Just play and have fun. Forget your agenda. Forget trying to make sure there is a spiritual checklist accomplished.
8. Passion. Community is naturally formed around the things that you get excited about—your passion and drive. When community is formed around a passion for Christ, it is called church, whatever that looks like. If you don’t have people around you that share your passion for Christ, you are missing out, whether or not you attend “church.”
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