July | 2012 | rwinzeler's Xanga Site

That I never have time to finish thinking until after it is over…

“The bigger the box, the bigger the person.”

This is a whole other world for me. I’ve spent a year in a place with a different language, no car, no luxuries, working, living , and loving people who have nothing: babies with no diapers, houses with no bathrooms or kitchens…you can’t reconcile and connect some of these things. But I love this world too. Supercamp: learning, challenging, positivity, success, empowering–the word YES.

I like the word YES. It oozes positivity. But I often forget that for every YES it means a NO for so many other things. Someone said “You can do anything you want to in life, but you can’t do everything you want to do.” You make choices and stick by them. Yes to Supercamp meant no to other things…like extra sleep. Like me time. It is a beautiful sacrifice, but it takes all of you.

How do you really say what you mean, when you mean so much more than words can say?

I need to take more risks. Stand up and do those little ideas that pop up in the back of my head. And if I mess up–take ownership for it. What is holding me back? Why do I second guess myself? Am I afraid of making a mistake? I’ve done that before and survived, so I have no more excuses. Failure isn’t permanent.

I love how Supercamp empowers kids so much. When I see them step up and stand up for who they are–not their label, I smile. Where it gets me even more is when I think of all the kids who haven’t had this opportunity. Ever kid should get to go to Supercamp! But they don’t. Every kid should have a chance to eat, but they don’t. Every kid should have a chance to feel loved and safe, but they don’t. And that hurts. It makes me tear up and wonder how I can take Supercamp to them. How can I empower them like that? How can I make a difference–show them they can make a difference? Boil it down and what do you have? LOVE. It always seems to go back to that.

The heavyness of the silverware surprised me. My first time flying Korean Air. My first time in Korea: I bought a smoothie. About a thousand of their currancy (won) is one dollar. Korean Air knows service and how to startch their collars: they look uncomfortable, but always have a smile. The flight was 13 hours, but I passed 14 time zones. I’ve tried to work it out in my head, but it doesn’t work. I left Sunday at noon and the sun never went down, and now it is 4pm on Monday. I ate dinner twice, or whatever meal “pasta” is.

My personal tv not only had lots of movies available, but also a skycam on the bottom of the plane. I watched Canada, the Artic, Russia, and China go past. Seoul. Another dot on the map that I can put into my brain as something real. My last flight to Hong Kong I am moved up to buisness class. My seat lays completely horizontal. I am given slippers and a three course meal. I turn down wine more times than I can count. I board the plane through my own special door, and go upstairs. UPSTAIRS on a plane. There is also a lounge. Luxury is quite a comfortable thing, eating with my silver chopsticks. Too bad my luggage got lost in Korea.

My luggage found it’s way to me after two days, and by then we were knee deep in staff training. It had been a whole year since anything Supercamp for me, so I was rusty. Thank goodness my two co-workers (facilitators, as we are called), had just finished camps in the USA, so were able to fill me in. A beautiful group of people to work with, as always–from all over the world: England, USA, Canada, China…Just enough time to get everything ready before the campers came.

Senior Forum, for high school, is our longer camp–10 days. Added challenge being that my breakout session (writing) was all new curriculum for me–I found out a week before I came that I would be teaching it. But writing is a passion of mine…so I am up for the challenge. It was an amazing 10 days!