November 4, 2012
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Grace
It takes extra grace to go back and forth between the world of HAVE and HAVE NOT. Staying at one or the other requires less of me. All the moving around just makes me feel like I am trying to please everyone and failing miserably.
I feel like I am losing grace and getting mad more easily at overly expensive cars, as I wait for the bus on the side of the road. Extremes are so blatant in Brazil. And to see them zooming by in what they don’t need, purposefully not caring about those around them…I cannot excuse them. There is no excuse.
I feel the bitterness growing inside of me…cars too fancy for their own good. People too rich for their own good. The “It’s not fair” echoes in my head. And I have a car; I have chosen this life. Imagine someone who didn’t. Seeing the “Haves” all day. Pass by without even knowing. I think it is the not knowing that irritates the most. How can they continue to be so ignorant to the needs around them?
Where is grace? Where have I let it go? I need it—for me to live and to give. And I think that is what growing up is all about. At least growing up the good way: having 50 things on your plate to do and learning to do every single one of them with grace.
