May 12, 2013
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But it Didn’t Hurt
Glee brought up an interesting subject in one of their episodes. One of the boys opened up about when his babysitter took advantage of him when he was younger. The girls were silent, the other boys began teasing him “What, that is every guys dream!” He was quiet a moment and then replied “Yeah, what was I thinking.”
Current statistics tell us that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are abused before they turn 18 (http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/child-sexual-abuse.aspx). Most of the time the experience is more painful for women, but some people surmise that it is just as marking (if not more) psychologically for men (http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/stats.htm). Just because it didn’t hurt, does that mean it didn’t count?
I was talking to a friend who told me he was proud of my stand for waiting until marriage. Knowing his very colorful past, I bluntly asked “Well, why didn’t you?” He had a blank look on his face when he told me “It just sorta happened.” An older woman had taken him to a love hotel, and he had enjoyed the experience. He continued with a sexually active lifestyle until meeting Christ many years later. He had been 12 years old that first time.
I was silent after that. I realized that he didn’t have the words for it, maybe didn’t realize it at the time (or even now), but he was taken advantage of. The woman opened him up to experiences and choices that he didn’t choose for himself, that he wasn’t mature enough to understand. You can’t pretend to know what might have been, but he was a child that should have been protected, not an object to give pleasure.
Just because it felt good, does that mean it doesn’t count? What if you are just now realizing the price you paid without being asked?
