By David Murrow.
So this guy has written some books like “Why Men Hate Going to Church” and “How Women help Men Find God” but I read this one first because…dang, what a juicy title:). I am on my “Get-a-million-books-out-of-the-library” thing. It happens every time in the USA. I am also on my “Study-relationships-more-and-what-to-do-since-you-are-finally-in-one” thing. Double whammy.
I copied out some quotes I found very interesting.
“Your husband’s problem isn’t the alcohol or the drugs or the porn or the fantasy football or the job or the money. He’s using these things in a vain attempt to release the boy from his cage. Hear me: your true husband is a boy who wants to play again. He wants to live pure and free. But he is imprisoned by forces he cannot comprehend. Most men do not recognize their own captivity. How can a man become like a child? By visiting the headwaters of his soul. He must go back in time to his childhood, to mourn the wounds and hurts that imprisoned him in the first place. He must revisit the bad stuff, bring it to the surface, and allow Christ to take those wounds onto himself. His need for self-protection will slowly melt away. The man who emerges will be the one you truly love the one you saw during courtship. The one who looked at you with such affection on your wedding day. The one who knows how to laugh and play and have fun. The one who is not only willing to die for you but is willing to live for you. But he cannot begin to protect others until he stops protecting himself.”
“For thousands of years humans all over the globe favored men in order to motivate them to do the dangerous jobs. Men were given an elevated place in society. Patriarchal societies survived longer because their men were more motivated to sacrifice themselves, egalitarian societies tended to die out. For five thousand years, sexism equaled survival. Here’s the ancient bargain women struck with men: guys, we’ll let you lead the parade, in exchange for the promise that you will feed me and the kids, and die for us if necessary. I’ll take the domestic sphere; you take everything else…Now, machines enabled women to become professional protectors and providers for the first time. Put a female behind the wheel of a combine and she can harvest just as much wheat as a man. Physical power is no longer key to survival of the human race—brainpower is.”
“Pornography is not about sex. It’s about being needed, looked up to, and desired. It’s about having power over a woman. Every man’s sexual fantasy involves as woman who desperately needs him.”
“Because humans are social and spiritual creatures, we tend to forget or deny the strong role biology plays in our earthly existence. Example: your husband is irritable for no apparent reason. You might assume he’s under spiritual attack, when in reality he is just hungry. Instead of praying for your husband, it might be far more effective to fix him a sandwich.”
“A man’s “nothing box” is one of the main ways we deal with the pressures of being a man. It’s into this box we go to escape the crushing expectations of modern life, the multiple demands on our time, the feelings we don’t know how to deal with, and the relentless prodding of Protector and Provider. Allow your man to spend a little time each day in his nothing box and he’ll love you for it.”
“For men, sex is the solution to every problem. Why do men believe this? Because their brain reminds them to have sex many times a day. Fedlhahn calls this sexual hunting. Men do it naturally. It is our natural desire to find a woman to mate with, programmed into our brains and bodies. Men are constantly on the lookout for a healthy young maiden of childbearing age who can carry our genes into the next generation. A man’s marital status does not affect this urge one iota. Even if a guy has a loving wife and great sex at home, his body still tells him to mate with multiple women. Here is something your husband hasn’t told you: the moment he enters a new space, he begins sexual hunting. His eyes scan the areas. He looks for the most attractive woman. Then he fixates on her. All the other women disappear. I hate this. For most Christian men, it’s actually tiring—a constant battle to maintain purity of the mind. We’d rather it didn’t happen, but it’s impossible to stop. This doesn’t mean I don’t find my wife attractive, but men are sexual hunters—and I’ve already captured my wife. Sexual thoughts are like any other addiction: the more you give in, the deeper the need becomes, but the more you resist, the easier it is to resist. You need to understand that your husband is under a constant barrage of sexual temptation. If he peeks at another woman now and then, don’t freak out. The next time you catch your husband stealing a glance at that girl in the bikini, don’t think to yourself “I’m so ugly, he doesn’t find me attractive anymore.” Instead, tell yourself, “the provider instinct is calling to him.” Then wrap your arms around him and say “I know you are tempted all the time, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate your faithfulness to me.”
“A man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He compensates for this fear by focusing on increasing his power and competence. Men are happiest when they are doing something they are good at. When they can provide for themselves and their families without assistance from others. When they can figure something out by themselves. When they are performing at a high level. When their accomplishments are recognized. When they are the best at something.”
“Here is something your husband doesn’t tell you: he lives to please you. Making you happy is one of his greatest joys. You hold tremendous power over him. No one else can take him to the pinnacle of ecstasy or the depths of despair the way you can. Your face is a mirror that tells him how he’s performing as a man.”
hum dum…what do you think?
Why yes, that is a huge homemade twister board:).
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