it is Sunday morning and we are being lazy and lovin it. John is banging on the door where Alyssa is taking a shower, insisting that she must come out and give him a piece of paper because he is going to be a famous artist when he grows up and must learn to draw NOW! 
oh no, now he coming over here to ask me.
*couple minutes later*
now that John has his paper and is on his way to becoming a great artist…:) things are good. I had a wonderful first birthday in Brasil. Wanna here some of my funny Portuguese mistakes? I was happily singing away “Eu Pecador” which means “I am a sinner” or something like that in the song when I hear giggles and find out that the word is “Liberador” and is all about the names of God. I also was singing “Vente Lembra” which would be “windy remembering” instead of “Tente Lembra” which is “Try to remember.” considering I normally change words when I sing even in English, I must add “accidental entertainer” to my list of talents. fun stuff.
Thursday I had my second English class with beginners at 2:00 and the advanced at 3:30. an hour and a half is long class, and two in a row is even longer, but I love it. I had nine in my beginner class and 5 in the advanced. one student even brought me an apple (okay, as a group let’s go “auuuhhh”).
I am studying the temperaments of people. I must say, you shouldn’t stick a book like that in my hands because I begin to analyze everyone with my “oh that means you are this…it says so in the book.” but in case you understand all the temperaments, I am a Sanguine/Phlegmatic, meaning I am warm, lively, talkative, charismic (see? it says so in the book), optimistic, calm, practical, and create enthusiasm…it also means I cry easily, am restless, exaggerate, naive, lack self-control, dominate conversation, distracted, worry, selfish, lazy, stubborn, and have an ego problem. yuck. so I am working on it.
yesterday we drove to Vicencia, which is one of my favoritest views ever. I have tons of pictures from the top of the mountain thing there. We drove up this time (instead of the hour and a half hike) since John and Heather were with us. Afterwards we went to Paudalho for the service (where I miserably sang the songs). I was working so hard in trying to understand the message (okay, I wasn’t dozing off or anything…) when I look two seats over and one row ahead and found a guy sleeping. oh. yep, it was funny. and concentration on Portuguese became impossible as I would glance over and see his head falling backward once again before he would shake himself and try to stay awake. I was transported back to the youth center where Eugene (my Autistic boy) would habitually fall asleep during Bible study and I would routinely have to have someone tap him and finally make him stand in the back with me. the poor guy could almost fall asleep standing up.
I had a great time with God around my birthday. He is awesome.
Rachel
****
God I need you
to pull away my hands from my eyes
to bend down and gaze inside
and see what it holds
it is a secret
hidden in fear
the fear that all I fear is true
there is nothing good and I am only destined for failure
the fear that if my heart were really seen
it would be rejected
abandoned
abhorred
and called a piece of trash
that it would be a disappointment
it would let someone down
and that it is not really worth being seen
God I need you
to pull away my hands from my eyes
to bend down and gaze inside
and tell me what it holds
I’ve been beaten down
by lies and fearing it is truth
remind me of what You’ve said
You made me into existence
and wrote a book of plans
perfectly fitted to me and what would satisfy my heart
You did not wait to see if I would follow
or if I would mess up and call it quits
You gave everything with no promise
knowing my weakness
Your love has no strings attached
You know my best was not good enough
so You made it free and handed it to me
And when I took it
You said I was clean
You said I was new
You said when You look at me
You only see
a reflection of Your perfection
You only see love
Your little girl that makes Your heart beat
Your princess that is beautiful
and worth a thousand deaths to rescue
Does she take Your breath away?
I need to know it’s true
I need to feel Your admiration
Your fresh breath next to mine
I need to feel Your pleasure
and know that its enough
God I need You
to pull away my hands from my eyes
to bend down and gaze inside
and reveal Your glory
****
