September 13, 2011
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Day 1 of 30 days about my Family
Being homeschooled and not having a lot of money when growing up, I quickly learned to make do with what I had on hand. I carried this on into college, where I would frequently use family members for college papers and interviews. I was surprised how much I learned about my dad while doing this paper…and I got an “A.”
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I interviewed a 65 year old male from Indianapolis, Indiana. “George” grew up on a farm in rural northern Indiana with his parents, grandparents, and two older sisters. When I asked about his parents style of parenting, he replied “Parents were more strict back in those days. I think my father was strict due to the huge changes coming in the culture—changes that came about with media (TVs and such, movies).”
He continued to share about how it had really started with his grandparents, and the radio: “radio was the first real electronic medium that changed our culture hugely. It forced and got people out of the community, and exposed them to the (so called) national standard.” For George, his father was strict because he was afraid of how things were changing, and so wanted to protect his family. This was something closely passed down through generations.
Looking back over his childhood, George could think of two big events that stood out from the work and high expectations of school. “My grandfather died three days after he fell off the truck I was driving (I was 11). I felt like it was my fault, but my family went out of their way to tell me it wasn’t—saying it was a stroke that made him slide down and fall off the truck. And then my other grandpa died the same year.”
George also grew up with two sisters: one four years older, and another that was seven years older. “You relate to people more relationally when you have sisters.” George’s favorite subject in school was math, but “We were encouraged to read and it was made out to be a big deal. There were very high expectations because I had two smart sisters. I took some intelligence tests when I was seven or eight.” George felt like he achieved what he needed to, but slightly inferior to his older sisters. On how he did in school, George simply said “I was as good as I was expected to do—average.”
George’s friends came from church (his year round friends) and school (only during the school year friends). George stated multiple times that he did not have a lot of time to play, especially during the summer. “Being on the farm, work was a large part of the day, so many things you just could not do because you were working. We had chickens (up to a couple thousand) and had to gather eggs three times a day and clean them one time a day and process them, from when I was 8 to 19 years of age. During the summer, I had to get up early and was working the whole day. City kids got bored, whereas out on the farm you really welcomed a day of rain. Even then there was catch up work—but you couldn’t go out in the fields. So there was really never any down time. The opportunities to go places and do things were rare and we really looked forward to them.”
This was one area where he did get bitter with his dad about: “I resented not be able to do stuff like some of the other kids and I took that out on my dad.” For George, being in a rural community limited opportunities, but really, it was the work that put a damper on things. Besides that, “Being apostolic put a crimp in what you could do socially, outside of family activities.” George grew up in a very close nit church, that his family had been a part of for many, many generations—continuing traditions that were from the Mother land, Germany. “I think my family may have been a little racist, they just didn’t know it. They themselves had received their share of prejudice/racism from being German around World War 2.”
He can remember one incident as a child clearly: “I saw a black person walking a dog and remember I was shocked and thinking “black people have dogs too?”” This was because of his lack of personal contact, not racism. In George’s family, the prejudice feelings were toward those who didn’t have the same convictions as they did, not based on skin color.
George said he was “extraverted, outgoing, adventurous, and very agreeable (had to be, growing up with two older sisters). I was not very generous, or very trusting, not the whole time. I was not organized, but I was a slightly reliable. I would say I was emotionally stable and didn’t worry much, because you did not let emotions get in the way like you do nowadays…it has really changed a lot.”
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The paper continued and included many technical aspects that I left out because that was the boring part. Sitting down and interviewing my dad from the perspective of an outsider made me realize how little I knew about this man that was not in the frame of “daddy.” Everyone has a story; most have more than one.
