March 26, 2012

  • Pro or Anti?

     My friend has a great passion. She is pro-life. She sadly remarked that those against her stance won a big battle when they made it an issue of ‘Pro-choice or Anti-abortion’ because who wants to be anti? And who doesn’t like choices? It is all in how you phrase it. Well fine then—if it makes that much of a difference, I decided to try it.

    1. Pro-abundance or Anti-poverty?

    Being so focused on fighting against poverty leads to burn out. Standing on the beach, trying to throw the starfish back into the water one at a time before they die. The change of focus instantly revives me, and makes me feel lighter.

    Life is too short to spend it fighting against things. I don’t want to survive, I want to thrive. I want the life more abundantly that Jesus died to give me. Life is too big for me if I only know what I am not—I want to know what I am. I am not anti-poverty. I am pro-abundance. I am not working to end scarcity, I am dancing to prove beauty and plenty. This mindset works for other things as well:

     

    2.      Pro-quality or Anti-quantity (DIETS)

     

    I have always hated dieting. And never did one right. Because the focus is always on what you CANNOT have. That is depressing. When I started focusing on all the good stuff I could have instead, it made eating something special and enjoyable: yeah for Lasagna Wednesdays! Not that I have lost weight, but I am a healthy vegetarian whose favorite food is fruit. And I don’t feel like I am ever missing out on anything.

     

    3.       Pro-Jesus or Anti-religion (for people who’ve left the church) or Anti-world (for people who are in the church)

    Rick Warren said something in the book “UnChristian” (very interesting book, by the way) that stuck with me: “My dream is that thirty years from now, the church will be known more by what it is for than what it is against.” Well, don’t wait 30 years. And I can’t think of anything more important than my relationship with Jesus. If I get that right, the rest follows.

    4.      Pro-lifelong learning or Anti-atrophy.

    The whole “use it or lose it” quote scares the crud out of me. I feel like I need a permanent list of things I have to go over to remember, because otherwise I will lose it and my life will slow down to a slug and ohhhh, the visions of the fat people with no bones on “Wally” haunt me. But focusing on getting my butt out there and learning (like watching a TED talk a day), and life is a success: “I did not ask for success, I asked for wonder.” –A Heshel

    5.      Pro-intimacy or Anti-sex (outside of marriage)

    I am not saying go have sex outside of marriage. I am saying that most times when you grow up in a church, horror story after horror story of people who had sex before marriage is set before you. This puts brackets on the ‘outside of marriage’ part of Anti-sex until you are just scared of sex in general, and your power as a sexual being.

    I didn’t need all the freakout. All I needed was one good family that I looked up to and thought: “That is the kind of marriage I want to have—how do I get it?” And then have them tell me that a big part was of marriage was intimacy, and valuing marriage—and that is done by waiting.

    And gosh darn it, be honest about how hard it is. Be honest about your own struggle and falling down and getting back up. Because otherwise, the only place I will hear about sex is “out there.” And God isn’t anti-sex—He created it. And once kids realize that sex is pretty great, they feel lied to. Because most adults in the church can’t say the word “sex” without turning red. For shame.

    What are some other pro or anti statements that make a difference?

     

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